Thursday, May 29, 2008

Where does the time go...

If you click on the song, Further to Fly by Paul Simon on the left there, I will tell you a story and what the song means to me.
When I was a soon to be junior in high school, we were doing a musical, Once Upon a Mattress. There were lots of us usuals from the theatre department working on it, but Rachel was gone away to France with the french class as they did in the summers. One day in late June, after rehearsals, I walked home (we lived about 1 block away) and my dad handed me the paper. There was a story about a boy who had been hit by a drunk driver earlier in the day, front page news. It appears that the driver fell asleep at the wheel with his grandkids in the back of the truck and veered off the road taking down the 11 year old boy on the bike. The police report said that the driver had been drinking since early in the morning and the boy had tried to go further off the road because he saw it coming. My dad asked if it could be the worst of what we were thinking.
That boy was Adam, Rachel's younger, and only, brother. My heart breaks even now even writing about it! He went to the hospital by ambulance and was in a vegetative state, just enough life to say goodbye to his family, Rachel excluded. Oh God, he was so young and OH, to get that call!!! I cannot even imagine, I do not want to! I cried then, like I am now. I tried calling their house just to check, hoping and praying that it wasn't true, please, don't let it be true!
There was such a strange vortex of time as time went on. A teacher on the France trip had to tell Rachel that her brother was gone and there was nothing that could be done. How surreal! She eventually made it back to the states to the rest of her grieving family. Later that summer there was a memorial in Lithia park in Ashland. People shared memories of Adam and tied a thought, prayer or otherwise to a balloon and let it go. Everyone released their balloons at the same time and let go of a piece of him that afternoon.
Time passed and the death took its toll on the family. How could anyone make sense of it. For the rest of it, it still loomed, but it was never quite so near us as them as they walked past his empty room and his things. When we were seniors, we do a project, write a paper and have a presentation. Rachel decided that she would choreograph a modern dance to Further to Fly (and 2 other songs), for a senior project, but also as part of her healing process. She asked a few fellow dancers to be in it with her, myself included. The words of the song are secondary to what it actually means emotionally for me, being a part of it. I don't remember if I was in any other of the dances, only this one. There was so much simplicity of pain and struggle and trying to let go and be at peace. If memory serves, the trio of dances were ended with I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan. It was an amazing experience and to this day I hope that it has helped her, I know that I will never forget...

I just went to look up dates or things about Adam's death and found a posting the local paper for today that is regarding Sara Joy, the youngest girl. It says that in 2002 she died in the hospital after complications over an overdose. His death hangs near and now hers. I did not know until now! I wish I had, I wish I knew where Rachel is and what she is doing. If anyone reads this and knows, please let me know! May Adam and Sara Joy rest in peace! My heart breaks again for the family.


Petronia said...

That is very sad.

I listened to your music list today and enjoyed it. nice :)

::Sylvia:: said...

love the new page! hope all is well with you and yours!

Off topic: Join us in a swap I'm having over at my blog! Spread the word!!

Marfa said...

My dad's sister, Martha, was killed by a drunk driver (veered into her lane and hit her car head-on), she had a daughter Zoya, who was just 7 at the's a shame that people can be so irresponsible. I am not perfect, but pray that I never get close to a situation like that. I hope Rachel is doing well and that you do "find" her.