tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28031690715798990542024-02-18T20:21:50.131-08:00katsmomI am an Orthodox Christian wife and mother, sister and daughter, homeschooler, natural health geared woman born in the wrong century...or so it seems at times...Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.comBlogger360125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-30880409161844519202015-08-09T15:40:00.001-07:002015-08-09T15:40:37.592-07:00A (sort of) UpdateWe've had some smoke from forest fires in the vicinity, but the past day and a half it's been pretty nice and somewhat clear! Huzzah!! I'm so grateful! It's been cooling off at night and we've had some amazing sunsets that we'll be able to enjoy if the clearing keeps up.<br />
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I've got some tomatoes in the garden, some cucumbers, and summer squashes. Since our move in May (yes, we moved again!), I didn't want to do too much for gardening, considering we'd already have our hands full with house stuff and property and chickens. I'm glad we didn't bite off more than we could chew in that respect, especially since we aren't even unpacked completely and it's August! HA!<br />
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We have a lot of chickens! These are the breeds we have: Black Australorp, Plymouth Barred Rock, Ameraucana, Light Brahma (gentle giants, one is a rooster known as Lord Grantham), Cuckoo Marans (dark chocolate eggs, when they finally lay), White-crested Black Polish (black body, white afro of feathers on top, one is also a roo, the hen will lay white eggs), a few bantams (mini hens), for good measure! I love our chickens!!! We chose them based on egg color, temperament, and overall beauty/interesting features...Kat is the chicken whisperer still and she is so good with them. I do the morning chore of feeding them, mostly to make sure they have the right amounts of things and I can keep better track of our supplies, but she let's them out and tucks them in at night and is always willing to bring them scraps, or treats, or just go hang out with them. Oh, and we mustn't forget her help in keeping those rooster boys in check!<br />
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Right now, Papa and Nina are making salt pickles the old=fashioned way, mostly because the fresh dill at the market has been awful for me to can any for the winter just yet. These past couple of years, there is a trend in favorites of foods I can, which seem to be dill pickles, spiced peach sauce, spiced apple maple butter and applesauce, and salsa verde.They get eaten like nobody's business! The last jar of canned pickles is in the fridge right now, so these salt pickles and some of Jay's refrigerator pickles should hold us over until the new batch is ready to eat in a couple of months.<br />
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Alright, I'm getting hungry for a snack, so I'd better get on top of it before I lose my chance and it's too close to dinner! Later gators!!<br />
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Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-35735052284762921442015-08-08T21:56:00.001-07:002015-08-08T21:56:41.933-07:00SinceI have come to realize in these passing days since the loss of my dad, I have been the most undone and more completely myself I have ever been, though I haven't yet risen from the ashes just yet...<br />
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There seem to be more grounding experiences in the process of grief, than those that seem uplifting, considering the lack of high points as were previously known, but it's been a solid and purpose-filled journey, not matter the heartache. I have been at the lowest within myself I have ever delved and also the most honest. I have given up and taken that next step...<br />
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This is what fuels our lives, this amazing love and connection we have with those around us. We can't always choose with whom we will connect, only God knows who that will be. We cannot even fathom the depth of our connections when we are bound in this flesh. <br />
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I am drawn to the rugged piece of humanness that offers a reality only love and loss can provide, for it has more truth in this life than all words and confrontation. I believe in a life that is both tethered and free, immense and measurable, but so drastically beyond all that we can comprehend, imagine, and absorb.Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-25571918561150406912015-08-08T19:40:00.000-07:002015-08-08T19:40:50.370-07:00Back On!So we've refurbished the old laptop, saving a truckload of money, instead of buying a new one, and I'm back online and hopefully ready to write. I miss it. After all of these months that have included the loss of a few family friends, my grandma, and my beloved daddy, I think I am ready to just back in full force.<br />
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This refurbish is brought to you by Jay and Misha, without whom, I may not be able to spew my thoughts on the wide world of interwebz. :)<br />
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Eep! I am way more excited than I thought I would be!!!Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-60532568485300989752015-03-11T21:49:00.001-07:002015-03-11T21:49:53.572-07:00ThicknessThere is fluidity<div>There is life</div><div>There is all that comes with night</div><div>The calm</div><div>The dark</div><div>The electric vibrance </div><div>A peaceful weight upon the soul</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-15377434909738884102014-11-20T16:40:00.001-08:002014-11-20T16:40:15.792-08:00Waves<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Life is fast</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">It goes and grinds</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Grief in pieces, </span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Locking, tumbling </span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Landing on falling</span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Standing in crushing waves</span></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">As silences befits this moment</span></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Comfort does not sit</span></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Well within the heart</span></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Driving the soul</span></font></div><div>Keeping sacred purity</div><div>Blinded by beauty</div><div>Tainted by pain</div><div>Always moving</div><div>Forever changing</div><div><br></div><div>Jagged shards fit together</div><div>Making whole the broken</div><div>Drawing nearer to tears</div><div>Brings me closer to you</div><div><br></div><div>I remember</div><div>I know</div><div>I feel</div><div>I see</div><div>I am...</div><div><br></div><div>Sinking, f<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">loating, s</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">oaring, d</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">reaming, d</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">ragging, b</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">eaming...</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Enlightened and alive</span></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-53195487151600121992014-11-05T21:49:00.001-08:002014-11-05T21:50:00.014-08:00HiatusI have so much I would like to share, but none of it is truly formed properly, so I will just babble a little bit. Since Dad's repose, so much has happened, I feel like listing it would take forever and I will miss something, but here are the highlights: Jay's VA comp and pen appointments and decision, back to back sickness in our house in the SUMMER (UGH!), my grandma fell and broke her hip, I joined a gym, Jay, Sis, and Mini all had birthdays, our wedding anniversary, my sister is pregnant, new nephews (twins) from Jay's bro and sis in law, church and more church, grandma's health declining and release to home on hospice care, kid activities, life....um, yeah.<div><br></div><div>Grief bubble still has an opening for me and thanfully so, due to the current declining state of my grandma. Jay likes to call it a year of change, which is certainly that, but 2 of the most influential and prominent people, whom I love and have known my entire life, will be gone from this earthly place. Dad in June, now Meema...</div><div><br></div><div>The chaos that fills this place is only bearable right now because I have been diligently going to the gym. Endorphins and some time to turn off my mommy/caregiver brain is so precious and priceless, it has help transform how I greet the world each day. I have been going more regularly, and even working with a personal trainer, which is helping me challenge myself (mentally and physically), while giving me the tools to accomplish a ton and be more effective in other areas of life. Thank GOD! Seriously, this is a Godsend, considering how much change is going on, has taken place, is coming up...</div><div><br></div><div>I often think of my dad and feel like there are gifts that he bequeathed to each of us upon his repose and one of mine is the focus and determination to not give up. I am notorious for starting things, or getting part way through, but not finishing, so I think of my dad and the way he would always persevere. No mater his pain, fatigue, lack of mobility, etc., he would press on, albeit slowly sometimes, he kept going to the very end, no excuses, and usually for other people. He worked so hard to make sure that everyone else around him had everything they needed and there was always time to make for someone else. In a roundabout way, I see going to the gym as something I can follow through doing and regularly think of him and how he would just keep trying and doing, but also, I am going for my family. They need me and I need to be well. On top of that, I have a 3 year old, so that means I will be an older parent, which also means I have got to be in shape enough to keep up with that lovely little spitfire.</div><div><br></div><div>I don't know much, but I know God's will be done, regardless of how we feel about it. I am at peace with much, struggle and try to persevere in all things, but live more moment to moment not more than ever, for which I am grateful. Love and peace be with all. </div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-69123053227551439422014-08-19T20:01:00.001-07:002014-08-19T20:01:29.976-07:00AnticipationI see you<div>In my dreams you are there</div><div>Talking and laughing</div><div>I cry with tears of joy </div><div>Knowing all the while</div><div>It's fleeting,</div><div>Only fleeting</div><div>Are all our lives</div><div>As we live in shadows </div><div>Of love and purpose</div><div>Growing ever nearer</div><div>Our ultimate home</div><div>Outside ourselves</div><div>Without this flesh</div><div>In timeless captivation</div><div>Awaiting unity</div><div>In eternal hope and love.</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-41684521620654509252014-07-15T23:48:00.001-07:002014-07-15T23:48:10.869-07:00DarknessI love the quiet and dark of night <div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">There is something </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So calming and thick about it all. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">The fabric of life seems to gather together</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">In the sweetness of its movement</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">As it breathes in busyness,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Exhaling rest and respite.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Revitalization begins here;</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">In the darkness,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">We await the Light.</span></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-2983009225004356332014-06-16T16:57:00.001-07:002014-06-16T16:57:15.706-07:00HomeThere is this place I go<div>Green, quiet, and alone</div><div>I see my thoughts</div><div>Hear my heart</div><div>Peel away the dizzy</div><div>Silence is thick </div><div>I touch the beauty</div><div>It hurts and heals</div><div>I believe</div><div>I stand bare and real</div><div>No one knows</div><div>This place I go</div><div><br></div><div>There is this place I go</div><div>Walking in twilight</div><div>Heavy steps dragging</div><div>Onward to the water</div><div>Peering in at me</div><div>I remember</div><div>Reflections and refractions</div><div>Begin to settle </div><div>Disturbed only by my tears</div><div>Sitting quietly</div><div>In this place I go</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-48523555410640048512014-06-16T15:58:00.001-07:002014-06-16T15:58:22.048-07:00BubbleThere is an awful sort of lingering<div>One that drifts in and out</div><div>Like waves of the sea,</div><div>The tides creep ever closer to shore</div><div>Knowing they must also draw away</div><div>But ebb and flow, they must</div><div>Just as from the beginning</div><div>I long for more metered beats of life</div><div>Fewer open spaces pausing me in thought</div><div>When this becomes what is</div><div>Instead of suspended newness</div><div>Like a breathless moment</div><div>These days offer solace and sadness</div><div>Filled with hope and love</div><div>While clinging to heartstrings</div><div>Tugging with intensity</div><div>From time to time</div><div>Sometimes not at all</div><div>Only for a thought</div><div>Before it returns to this head</div><div>This heart that is magnified in aching</div><div>Take hold this hand</div><div>Guide these feet</div><div>Make steady my resolve</div><div>As I continue on this path</div><div>Of love.</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-60155560682672909792014-06-10T13:44:00.001-07:002014-06-10T13:44:26.372-07:00Memory EternalThis is a repost from 12/10/10, but very appropriate right now. Dad fell asleep in The Lord saturday morning, the day all of the Orthodox faithful worldwide are praying for the dearly departed, and he was buried yesterday in Platina.<div><br></div><div><h2><span style="font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">God Keep You Now and Always</span></h2><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am given to thoughts of life<br>Thoughts of precious, wasted moments<br>Fleeting perfected love and simplicity<br>My heart is broken<br>Though, as if it never knew how to love<br>Until this time when you may leave<br>We are all going to lose this gift<br>This life of what we know<br>But the tears cannot quiet<br>The disruption inside my soul<br>This thrashing in seclusion<br>Find me weeping, see me standing<br>Barely keeping a single thought long<br>Torn in pieces<br>But only beginning to understand<br>Only now can I know the enigma that is whole<br>Yet there is no solace anywhere tangible<br>The pulling at my heart consumes each breath<br>Is in each step and utterance<br>I see your face and long to always<br>Your presence never meant more<br>Why, I do not know<br>A solemn and jagged peace is lingering<br>As if to comfort and calm<br>How will I ever let you go?<br>How could I ask you to stay?<br>Be at peace and know that no matter<br>We shall remain and carry on<br>This life can never be the same<br>Though we can hardly ever be apart <br>Oh, that I could have been the daughter I ought have<br>Oh, that I could breath in the moments of waste<br>Breathing out only that which profits us both<br>Ah, but we cannot regret <br>That which makes us who we become<br>Without those many lessons<br>I might have not made it here<br><br>I know how to love<br>Because of you<br>I know how to give<br>Because of you<br>I know who I am<br>Because of you<br>I am a daughter given to be a wife<br>Because of you<br>I am strong and fearless<br>Because of you<br>I am loving, compassionate and open<br>Because of you<br><br>Our hearts come from the same seed<br>From the beginning of time<br>The line runs deep and vast<br>It draws us into nearness and love<br>A kindred understanding of life<br>A common hope and purpose<br>Intertwined in this dancing prism of life<br>Forever and for always, my papa you will be<br>Know that I am where you are perpetually<br>For you are here and may not know it<br>Your life and memory will live on<br>In our hearts, without fail<br>May the God of all bless you<br>The Most Holy Theotokos stay by your side<br>Your guardian angel guide you<br>St. Seraphim comfort and guard you<br>May all the saints, known and unknown<br>Pray unto God for the salvation and purification of your soul<br>That you be without blemish when He comes<br>None can keep you from Him<br>Though why should we wish to do so<br>May enlightenment be upon you<br>Understanding, peace and love<br>Constantly keeping you <br><br>May God keep those of us that must stay<br>That it be to the glory of God<br>Forever and ever, Amen</span></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-40650184579730445952014-05-31T19:53:00.001-07:002014-06-20T23:41:26.136-07:00Changes in TimeSometimes a feeling has to begin without<div>To strike the chords within</div><div>The daydream where I walk is paved in memories</div><div>Love </div><div>Bittersweetness of life </div><div>My feet do not touch the ground </div><div>Though the weight within my heart seeks </div><div>To sink me... </div><div>I have this body</div><div>But the disconnect that separates </div><div>These thoughts</div><div>This heart </div><div>Are worlds apart</div><div>Dragging on with diligence and devotion </div><div>Into a sea of magnitude</div><div>I feel driven to empty the contents within</div><div>Yet so withdrawn </div><div>I cannot even fathom the distance between </div><div>A calmness soothes </div><div>The noises surround fuse</div><div>Becoming<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> a sweet bite of life </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Walking ever closer</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Always nearer</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">You.</span></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-73553885124490982132014-05-21T12:35:00.001-07:002014-05-21T12:35:13.344-07:00I Love You, Dad<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">The evening light </span></div><div>Of starlit night</div><div>Waits quietly in awe</div><div>To put to bed </div><div>The restless head</div><div>Of those who fret and toil</div><div>Stand fast and near</div><div>My love, my dear</div><div>This shall also pass</div><div>As waves of sea</div><div>Depart from me</div><div>So, too, will you in time</div><div>Change of tides</div><div>Love still abides</div><div>Always keeping us together.</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-44908934828348672702014-03-02T12:39:00.001-08:002014-03-02T12:39:20.133-08:00Forgiveness SundayWe are on the brink of full immersion into Great Lent and the sunday wherein we ask forgiveness of those in our lives, so as to begin with as clear a conscience as possible and reconciled to our brother's and sister's who are the image of God. In the spirit of forgiveness, please forgive me, a sinner. Please forgive my thoughts and thoughtlessness, my action and inaction, my words, deeds, selfishness, or offences of any kind, as I am fallible and without excuse. May your lenten journey be fruitful and peaceful; Lord, have mercy!Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-63242958195154080322014-02-22T23:02:00.001-08:002014-02-22T23:02:56.136-08:00My LoveAwake in the night<div>She cries with fright</div><div>Heaviness in all her heart</div><div>Nothing will settle this weight</div><div>It hangs nearby </div><div>Looming as troubles brew</div><div><br></div><div>Little darling, sweet child</div><div>I will come to you in darkness</div><div>Allay your fears with kisses</div><div>Wrapping arms around your struggles</div><div>Carrying away any sorrow</div><div>Holding one another</div><div><br></div><div>Tomorrow will come</div><div>We will see the sun rise</div><div>Alit upon our cheeks</div><div>Sun's beauty and warmth</div><div>Offering truth and simplicity</div><div>Only life can know its depth</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-37322382768268820932014-02-17T00:28:00.001-08:002014-02-17T00:28:26.774-08:00A Prevalent NotionLike a flower<div>Plucked from the field</div><div>I sit in wait</div><div>As the day begins to fade</div><div>The weight of eternity</div><div>Rests knowingly upon my heart</div><div>Whether I will or not</div><div>Truth pervades within</div><div>Tugging and striving</div><div>Drawing every breath</div><div>Each movement </div><div>Of deepest tranquility</div><div>Becomes a solace</div><div>Though turmoil resides </div><div>Kicking up dissent and wrath</div><div>Strength and peace</div><div>Prevail</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-22118402811056950862014-02-04T20:33:00.001-08:002014-02-16T15:02:38.026-08:00Lenten Preparations and DiscussionsJust two weeks more and we are in the midst of Great Lent; so it begins again. A journey onward and upward, toward Golgotha, cross on our shoulders, as we look inward to watch the ways in which we might focus better on God, helping our neighbor, seeking a repentant heart, in preparation for one of God's greatest gifts He has ever given us: His Resurrection!<div><br></div><div>With Great Lent comes prayer, fasting, almsgiving, selflessness, and the like, as we make efforts to prepare ourselves for Pascha. Oftentimes, when we think of prayer and fasting, we focus on the very tangible aspect of them, such as food. One of the things we are discussing in Sunday school is the concept of watchfulness over our thoughts, actions, and words. I am having each kid keep a watchfulness journal/list, if you will, in which they have written things they hope to do each day during the great fast. Some of the ideas that we have come up with include not fighting with siblings, doing chores without complaint, watching what we say/watch on tv/music we listen to, etc., simply governing ourselves in a manner that is more controled and aware of how our actions effect others. I will also keep a book to walk with them in every way I can, and we are to visit the list daily in the mornings and/or evenings, in order to remind us and keep us accountable.</div><div><br></div><div>At home, we are making a list of hopeful tasks to accomplish, from reinstating family reading time in the evenings to getting paperwork done that has been shuffled around for some time now, as well as, menu planning and healthier eating. This is to be added to our family prayer time in the morning and evenings, and before and after meals, saints of the day and daily Bible reading. I would like to focus more energy on crafting for myself, because I have ever so many projects that get swept beneath the carpet when I allow the chatter of the world to creep in and drown out what should be done. Sis is in my Sunday school class, so she will have her own personal list, and maybe Jay will play along with us in his own way; I know he is game usually.</div><div><br></div><div>As with as many Great Lent's as I can remember, we will do our traditional planting of seeds in the first week. We will plant outside for cool weather plants, like peas and lettuce, and inside for the warm weather babies, like tomatoes, cucumbers, and beans. With God's help, we will have something to eat and perhaps enough to can for the following winter. The spiced peaches I canned back in August are surely being appreciated by everyone lately, which makes all the hard work totally worth it. Sometimes it seems tedious, especially when learning a something new, but at some point it becomes familiar and systematic. I hope to have enough cucumbers of our own, or supplement from the local grower's market, to make plenty of pickles; we have been without this year due to our growing season being effected by a number of factors, not the least of which being the terrible fires that causes awful smoke and lack of proper growing conditions. </div><div><br></div><div>Ok, I think that is about it for now. Peace be with you.</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-31745533540954639322014-01-28T15:45:00.001-08:002014-01-28T15:45:53.861-08:00Aha!With all of my rambling of randomness, I forgot to mention that, along with the walking and biking we are moving toward, we are also shifting to getting back on track with some of our diet needs. Even when being gluten and dairy free, there is still much room for eating junky things, like cakes, cookies, and fried foods. Now that the season of sweets and such is over (for now) and in preparation for being ready to embrace Great Lent, we will be eating better...again. My hope is to eat more simple foods that offer a wide variety of benefits. I have already begun making us smoothies with the Vitamineral Greens, which I love, and having things on hand to make a salad regularly, for those who wish to throw one together. <div><br></div><div>Ok, now I really think that is all ;)</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-69399170814200088532014-01-28T15:15:00.001-08:002014-01-28T15:15:05.535-08:00Finally, The End Of January!<div>We have made it to the end of January in our new schedule and things have been good. I am looking forward to continuing most classes for the girls, though we are visiting whether we will spend the money on certain classes for Sis right now, or put it into an envelope and save it for a summer camp of the same fun business. Anyway, we shall see, but these girls are doing really well in their tumbling classes, and Sis is moving up to being in longer piano to make sure there is enough time to do anything, since her music is getting longer and more complicated. On top of learning to play, she is also learning to identify notes by their names both on the keyboard and treble/bass clef staff position, and working on different practice scales, so longer class will be great and she loves her teacher, so it works out.</div><div><br></div><div>We have finally gotten some rain in the valley for the first time in what seems like forever. I am chomping at the bit to plant things, since it should stay somewhat mild enough to get a few things in the ground, like peas, beets, and carrots. I have to wait until after the first, which will be pay day, so we can head down to get things to make raised beds. I would like to repurpose things to be a veggie/flower/herb/fruit bed, like the fire truck toddler bed. (We had to remove it from the house because a certain toddler was keeping hersel awake playing with the knobs and things...) Any ideas on what to repurpose? I have a pallet that we may fill with dirt and plant; my biggest criteria is creative and interesting. Oh, our bulbs we planted after we moved in are already starting to poke their little leaves up through the earth, which makes my heart jump for joy!</div><div><br></div><div>While I take the girls to their sister tumbling class, we leave papa for a minimum of 2 hours to work on his Orthodox graphic novel. He is working on adapting the lives of saints into a form that is appealing to many, but to target teens/young adults, beginning with Great Martyr Katherine. There are ever so many children's books, and certainly plenty of meaty adult books, out there and this is one of the concepts he has been wanting to work with for some time. It is coming along and we will see how it goes; I will keep you updated as to when he gets further along.</div><div><br></div>I have begun to teach the older kid's Sunday school after the liturgy, since our usual person is with family as they grieve the loss of her father (memory eternal, Rafik!), though my role is not to teach exactly as the other teacher has taught. This has proved both challenging and rewarding, due to the needs of older kids and the vast resources of what the posibilities are in this realm. Because they are able to comprehend things on a different level than the younger kids, knowing where to begin can be unclear. I have read the lives of Sts. Macarius the Great of Egypt and Brigid of Kildare, discussing their lives, having questions, really trying to get them to think. The season of Great Lent is upon us, so I hope to tie in the Gospel readings of the next sunday into the lesson with Q & A. I want to learn about the following sunday because they will have one bit from me and the next week they will have a follow-up by Father's homily, which I am hoping will reinforce what we discuss. As well as these lessons, we are discussing Christian virtues in an applicable manner, to try to bring mindfulness of ourselves and another aspect of the great fast. We often tend to focus on what food we are and aren't eating, and less on what we are or aren't doing/saying. These are often the hardest for us and I want us to acknowledge the entirety of the fast, so I have asked them to think of things for next sunday. Godwilling, this will all come together.<div><br></div><div>On monday, Jay took Mini to her 'tass' on his bike, with her in tow in the kid trailer, which we call the 'stroller bike', since it converts between bike trailer and stroller. Now that the weather is more cooperative, lacking in snow and super cold (all of which has been unseasonable for these parts!), we are aiming to drive less, bike and walk more. The overall goal is to be driving for liturgies and to Medford, but walking and riding all the other places. As I explained to Sis last night, it is good for our bodies, the earth, and our pocketbook. We started off by walking to her swim class as a family and I took Luna on a walk while she was in class, while Daddy and Mini watched Sissy swim. It went pretty well and I hope it continues to last, though I am at the coffee shop a little begrudgingly on my bike, because I ate lunch and got tired. I am glad I hopped on Samantha and came down, but getting the motivation to get out the door sometimes may become interesting. The ultimate question is: How badly do I want to go? Not to mention the outcome of feeling happy to have pushed past the lethargy of the body and slug onward, making a pinch of progress in redirecting some of the willfulness into productivity.</div><div><br></div><div>I think that may be it for now, but I suppose that is enough. We are trucking along, looking forward to February being a shorter month, as January has seemed eternally dragging. Spring is coming, Great Lent, another birthday for me, plants, flowers, hiking, barbecuing, camping, and whatever else we come across. </div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-71858197334549822832014-01-25T22:37:00.001-08:002014-01-25T23:05:53.979-08:00Along The WayO Lord! I should possess a constant heart<div>One worthy of praising You</div><div>All of Creation sings anew each dawn</div><div>With the rising of the sun and break of day</div><div>The whole earth reflects Your beauty and promise</div><div><br></div><div>Changeable and willful, am I</div><div>Wasting away my time</div><div>As though I have eternity</div><div>Nestled in my pocket</div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Idly pressing time for more</font></div><div><br></div><div>When will I learn without inducement</div><div>To flee to You in every way</div><div>With every breath, my heart beats</div><div>Yet I continue waywardly</div><div>Overlooking my recourse to You</div><div><br></div><div>May Your mercy fill me</div><div>Your will guide me</div><div>As love overcomes all</div><div>Covering a multitude</div><div>In accordance and abundance</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-31895779067737238032014-01-23T00:22:00.001-08:002014-01-23T00:22:17.632-08:00Nearly SpringAwaken me like the early spring<div>Ready in anticipation of abundant Life</div><div>Call me gently to You</div><div>Oh God of life, peace, and love</div><div><br></div><div>Direct my growth and yearnings</div><div>Set right my aching heart</div><div>Squelch the burning of passions</div><div>Hush the chatter of foolishness</div><div><br></div><div>I must prepare a place for planting</div><div>Seeds of eternal hope and tranquility</div><div>Working in symbiosis</div><div>To reveal fruits from seedling</div><div><br></div><div>The night will guard the Mysteries kept</div><div>With quiet solitude and prayer</div><div>As day begins anew in magnificence</div><div>Offering the hope of life eternal</div><div><br></div><div>As the birds call to You in earnest</div><div>Hear also the prayer of one divided </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Between a life that can be seen </span></div><div>And one that is Forever in You</div><div><br></div><div>Stir contrition and prayer in me</div><div>I wish to lay up myself</div><div>Take up the cross which is given</div><div>Diligently, ardently follow You for all eternity</div><div><br></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-82761413592552952592014-01-17T20:48:00.001-08:002014-01-17T20:48:47.173-08:00Foggy DaysFog is one of those amazing creations in this world, both eternal and transitory, it seems. These past days we have had a fog that has been drawn out through the valley, only to be washed over the shores of the hills by evenings return. It is has been both dense and intangible. Cool, damp, sturdy, comforting, and calming, the fog is solace in a world that is busy with itself. <div><br></div><div>Thick and dormant, there is little to be spared. In the night, the cold air invites the fog to rest upon every surface reachable and, by morning, there is such a silver glimmer of frozen life, it sparkles with reverence and devotion. As the sun emerges from the blackness of night, the clinging fog awakens to greet its warmth and welcome. Again, the sun delights the dew of fog to dance about and create a shimmering glitter of radiance that is only caught when we stop to notice and breath a little.</div><div><br></div><div>The ebb and flow of this heavy fog renews my heart and soul in such a way as to lure thoughts of eternity and longing as nothing else is able. I find myself here, as I reside in such a state of dream and wake, as it is both stable and fickle. After days of this ocean of fog coming and going, trapping what it will and letting all else linger on its own, I will admit the enormous blast of sun today gives way to refreshment and joy, offering a new hope of spring to come!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-66940807109808046962014-01-14T15:44:00.001-08:002014-01-14T15:44:12.758-08:00Prayer Becomes UsPrayer is such an elusive concept, much like Grace, wherein we cannot confine, or fully define, its entirety, nor are we able to attain prayer without going within. We know that we pray from a place within us that contains both compassion and concern, though we may not be able to pinpoint its origin, and we may attempt to draw it closer as we might desire a cloud to be more near, as its wisps hang just out of reach, yet knowingly encompassing us. <div><br></div><div>Prayer is not something we can own, nor are we able to live without its dynamic influence. We must cultivate prayer as though we are growing a spiritual garden, laying up our treasures, as it were. Sometimes, we may ask another to water our garden when are in need, ill, unable, or just plain struggling, just as we may ask for another to pray for us. Perhaps God provides instances for us to pray together and for one another that we may participate in triumphs and challenges outside of ourselves, that we may nurture and grow love and compassion within ourselves. That we may put away ourselves and take up the cross of another, just as Simon the Cyrenian carried the cross for Christ toward Golgotha, which may help us realize how closely knit we all truly are and so we must humble ourselves to bear one another's burdens as our own. It seems to me that when our compassion, love, and understanding of our fellow man awakens and grows, so also does that place within us wherein prayer flows and Grace touches. </div><div><br></div><div>Prayer does not always look the same, since our motivation to pray is often different. At times, we are compelled to pray due to our circumstance, or someone else's, and other times it is because there is a designated time during the day, week, etc. that is set aside to give our focus and time to God. The latter of these times, it may come easier to fully participate in our offering and participation of prayer, but at the appointed times, it can be easier to let our minds wander into another part of the week, whether it is past or future, or any other time and place. Perhaps one of the works of a Christian is to learn to fuse prayer into contancy with fervent compunction and compassion, and, over time, we may "<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span id="en-NKJV-29638" class="text 1Thess-5-16">Rejoice always, </span><span id="en-NKJV-29639" class="text 1Thess-5-17">pray without ceasing,</span><span id="en-NKJV-29640" class="text 1Thess-5-18"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </span>in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thess. 5:16-18) <br></span></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="text 1Thess-5-18"><br></span></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It is one cross fashioned to bear Christ, one Son of Righteousness to bear the sins of all mankind, one act of selfless love to bear generations of selfishness and greed, one woman to bear the uncreated Light more spacious than the Heavens. I am fond of imagining that each of our own crosses is made up of pieces of the cross which bore Christ, intertwining us completely and, sometimes, unknowingly. If we are to put on Christ, then it would stand to reason that we must take up our neighbor's cross with our own, pray for all selflessly and without ceasing, and give God thanks in all things.<font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"> </span></font></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Ok, I think I am done. Thanks for listening!</span></div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-4079686278770725192014-01-09T12:52:00.001-08:002014-01-09T12:52:22.094-08:00Seeds!I very nearly forgot to mention seeds! I have ordered my seeds from Baker Creek Heirloom Seed Co for this season, at least, most of what will be planted and I am super excited. A few kinds of tomatoes, cucumbers, sunflowers, squash, beans, peas, etc., so as to cover both cool and warm weather varieties. I love color and so everything ordered is based on beauty, but also to attract good creatures, like bees and butterflies, hummingbirds and goldfinches. I truly hope we get some delicious and lovely growth out of all of it and we are blessed with visits by our winged friends!Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803169071579899054.post-51650769820709317942014-01-09T11:30:00.001-08:002014-01-09T11:30:07.203-08:00Overdue UpdateI am sitting at the coffee shop, latte in cup, and having a bit of time to myself. This is the third day in a row we had tried to get me out of the house to have a bit of time away from the busyness of the days, since it has been awhile. I am grateful for any time at all, truly and definitely. I got to ride my bike, wearing my new leather gloves to keep my hands from becoming ice cubes, and they were a success. Riding bikes for most things in town is a goal we have, but with it being drizzly, we will need to invest in a rain/wind shield for the trailer that Mini rides in. We are looking into getting some new smoother tires for Sissy's bike to reduce friction and make it easier for her to ride longer distances. She is actually quite a sport about the riding, but if we are going to ride to some of her classes, like Le Cirque and swimming, which are extremely physical, it would be nice that she can conserve some energy in riding. At some point, she will build up some more endurance, but I am a fan of setting things in place for success with the proper exertion and focus.<div><br></div><div>That brings me to the girls classes! We have both girls in classes this month which include: tumbling, swim, ceramics, piano, and Le Cirque. Mini is currently taking tumbling three mornings a week, one of which is with Sissy, though we had hoped we could have her in swim, as well, but the time for the ONLY parent/tot swim conflicted with the rest. We are actually discussing whether we will jujst become members at the YMCA so she can just go swim with mommy or daddy whenever there is open swim and we have time. We live less than a mile from the Y and both girls are avid waterbabies, so it is looking like our best interest to invest, even if it is just or the pool! </div><div><br></div><div>Sissy is the only kid enrolled in her swim class, so we get private lessons for the price of group! Last night, her swim teacher told her that she thinks that Sis would be great on a swim team and decided to begin endurance training her. For a half an hour straight, she swam laps! She swam freestyle down to the deep end, was given a minute to tread water and make sure she wasn't wiped out, then swam breast stroke back down the lane, moving almost immediately into elementary backstroke to keep her heart rate up, but not work too hard. Back and forth she swam, then practiced a little diving at the end. When we talked about it later and I mentioned how she just kept swimming, she said, "If I stop, I get too tired and it's harder to start back up again." Good for her! We have often said that she is built like a swimmer and I am pleased we are able to give her the opportunity to give it a go. Jay and I were joking last night that Sis will be our relay swimmer and MIni will be our water polo kid, since both adore the water.</div><div><br></div><div>As far as classes go, I am super thankful that the tumbling offers sibling and multiple class discount, which makes it very affordable. All the classes seem to have an element to offer the girls, both in challenge, togetherness and team work, individual focus and development, and enjoyment. The structure of these classes has given us the chance to have more routine in our lives, which is a blessing, truly a Godsend. I have often said that I am capable of following routine and schedule, but left to my own devices, I will likely drift from the originally drafted plans...So far, so good. </div><div><br></div><div>Mini is a hoot and a holler these days, even in spite of her sleep troubles that have popped back up again. She is goofy and sweet, with facial expressions to match. One of her favorite phrases lately is, 'Dat's funny!' She has a big heart, full of compassion and drive, and with God's help, perhaps we can guide her toward the best avenues of exploring and using her gifts. She always seems to know who needs her smile or a hug. She has a special way about her that is terribly magnetic and loving, though she is still very much a toddler trying to find words to communicate and the storm can break out without much warning, especially if there is a lack of sleep. She has ever so many words and is enunciating more clearly than ever, much to her delight. She keeps asking to go on a walk, then follows that up with wanting to go to Meema's house. She doesn't quite get that we have to drive all the way through the entire state of California to get there, and little does she care, she just wants to go there and go to the beach!</div><div><br></div><div>The snow finally melted away, leaving behind it a plethora of mud, but the drier weather allowed the mud to subside and we can finally get back in the habit of daily outtings without massive bundles or clean up. In the midst of all this weather, we have had a wonderful season of family, friends, and feast! Perhaps more on that later, since I think this is enough for now and I may knit for a few before heading back home again. May your days be blessed.</div>Xen Xenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07471571941851692080noreply@blogger.com1