Christ is Risen!

Greetings with the Feast of the Resurrection of our Lord!


Christ is Risen!....Truly, He is Risen!
Christos Voskrese!....Voistinu Voskrese! (Slavonic)
Christos Anesti!....Alithos Anesti! (Greek)
Hristos a Inviat!....Adeverat a Inviat! (Romanian)
Ha Mashiyach Qam!....Ken Hoo Qam! (Hebrew)

"He is not here, He is Risen!"

Christ is Risen from the dead,
Trampling down Death by Death,
And upon those in the tombs bestowing life!

Christ is Risen!

My hopes and dreams

I have always had dreams and since the first part has already come true (marrying prince charming and becoming a mommy), I have time to think about other goals in life. Well then, here we go!
I would like to see a women's monastery somewhere here in the states as part of our jurisdiction, if you will. I dream that someday we will have one close by. I think it is such an important part of our Faith that we are really quite deprived without one. Some may think I am silly, but I will cling to this dream as long as I live until it comes to fruition. Women monastics are really remarkable, even moreso to me than the men who become monks. In order that a man serve in the church, he must have a calling to the job, but he also has the option of being married (as a priest) or unmarried (as a monk). Women who are called to give their lives to the Church do not have that choice, which is just fine, but if they choose to become the Bride of God, they will give up their earthly lives completely. It is not to say that women who are a part of their parish cannot give a great deal to God, but there is something very special in the woman who chooses to be a nun, or an abbess. Just my own thoughts on the subject. I would just love to have one somewhere near.
Next, I would like to have a soup kitchen for those in need. I would like to serve fresh, homemade soups and breads to people. How to go about this? I have no idea, but God knows my heart and will guide me accordingly, if it is His will. In all honesty, it would be nice to have a shelter of some sort for people. Then we get to my next dream...
I am thinking that we should have a retirement home for those elderly of the Church. There are so many people, immigrants or not, who are alone and have trouble both making food for themselves as well getting to church. I think we would all benefit from this sort of thing. Perhaps this is where my soup and bread dreams may more than likely come into play, a sort of little combo. Again, whatever is God's will, I will take it.
Last, but not least, we need a real church for us. Our church is small and we have made do up to a point, but it is starting to get ridiculous! We need a proper Orthodox church, one that was built specifically for our purpose. The one we are in now used to a baptist church or something and is far too small. We need a bloomin' Cathedral, in my opinion. Meh, in God's timing, we will see a new church, but I can dream about it as much as I like.
Well, it goes without saying, I think that we would like to have another baby when the time is right, we will just have to see, that will continue to be a dream until we either conceive or adopt, if either be in our 'plan'.
That about does it for now. Kat and Misha, I hope you like all of my paragraphs, I thought of you the whole time =P
XOXO, for now, Me

Today

It is Lazarus saturday, the beginning of Holy week. Lazarus has been risen from the dead. Tomorrow Christ will enter into Jerusalem and we will all receive our palms to offer on the arrival of our King. The church will be resplendent in greens and everyone will be festive. It truly is a joyful sorrow, for we know that upon Christ's entrance into the city begins the inevitable sequence of events. We must welcome Him, witness the betrayal, take part of the last supper and be humbled by His selfless sacrifice of crucifixion. I love this about church.
Today Fr Boris was talking about how we live our faith, emphasis on the LIVE not the how. We are a part of eternity now because we partake of the Kingdom of Heaven here through active participation and that Holy Week is such an important part of our involvement and faith. We are given such great opportunity to witness it here and now.
This Lent has been an interesting one, certainly not what I am used to, but that is a good thing I suppose. I guess that means that I have the opportunity to give another aspect of my faith/life(they are synonymous so I can't choose just one) a tune-up. It has been terribly realistic in a sort of in your face kind of way. God brings me to my knees when He wishes, but now I am learning to do it myself. It has been good and sobering, I am grateful in a strange way. Here is my life, here is how much time I have left, ummm, get with the program ya lazy bum! In a loving, stern way. I am Prideful, judgmental, talkative, blunt, lazy, distracted, dissatisfied, wanting, frustrated, angry, offensive, oh my, how the list goes on, BUT for the Grace of God, I am able to strip away pieces of these to reveal the simplicity I hide underneath all of that junk! My intentions are good, but oh! How prideful they are! To the Glory of God I can do anything right, there are temptations everywhere, and I am not just talking about chocolate =P Something as simple as the temptation to sleep a little longer and blatantly doing so, then being frustrated that I am not getting up earlier to get things done before Katherine is awake. How can I be vigilant when I am sleeping? It is like, "Just 5 more minutes, God, please?"
Alright, enough of that rambling, I am getting back on track again, I think...I hope. Oh yes, Fr Boris was talking about how we are a part of eternity NOW and that is how we enter into salvation. When we leave this temporal body behind, our soul continues to partake of Christ because we have been doing so already. Well, he said it better than I can sum up, but I think the point gets there.
Lazarus saturday is a traditional day for many faithful people to be baptised, babies to adults. This one in particular marks the baptism of my nephew, Liam, and, as I call her, Kat (these paragraphs are for you =P ). Yay! What a wonderful day all around. The sun is shining (in Colorado, anyway), there is a gentle breeze tickling our chimes outside, Katherine is playing and Jay will be home soon. Life just does not get much better than this! I will always have these moments...when I am old and senile, I hope these are the things that re-run in my head.
Alright, I will go now to my beautiful, wonderful life. Love and hugs to all!

Knight in Shining Armour

I will have to say that I love my husband. This is nothing new to most people. He is a hard working, caring, wonderful man. I appreciate his resolve and ethic, he is a diamond in the rough. He inspires me to be a better person, to be the one he sees when he looks at me with those big brown eyes and that 'sweetie pie' look that he has passed down to his daughter. Before we met, I was SO done dating (not that I did that much dating to begin with, just done with the whole everything about it). I decided that I was going to wait for Prince Charming. Little did I know, by making such resolve, God would give to me a man who would not only love me with everything he has, but he would challenge me and never ask me to change. We have been through a lot in our short 7 years of being together, 5.5 of being married. You would think that the going off to war thing would be the hard part, or the initial getting home and becoming a family again. In all reality, we both changed while he was away, we had to in order to survive...just before our 2nd wedding anniversary, we had ribs and such in an on-base restaurant in our last effort to see each other and pretend it wasn't so bad. Katherine had just turned 1 and my heart was breaking, everything seemed so surreal, but I knew this was God's will and we would survive and that there was a purpose in it, even if we did not see all of it. Some may have thought it was so terrible to happen to us at such a time, I never really thought he would die, I was going to miss him and the life we created together, very selfish reasons. I was NOT in denial, I just did not believe he would die. While he was away, there would be days that I felt like I needed to talk to him, just to hear his voice and I would go to my parents icon corner and get a prayers books out and say a prayer, I think it was the one for the acceptance of God's will, short and to the point and I would say a little extra prayer in my heart. Usually within 24 hrs of my doing so, usually sooner, he would call me (I did not notice it as much then). When he was back and we were sitting with Fr Boris, he explained that there were times, he could not figure out why, but he felt like he just HAD to get to a phone and call me and he did as soon he could. God's will, in everything, God's will. After he was home we had some adjustments, we had to get out of survival mode and get back to family life. It took some work, but with God's help we have made it this far. He did not see anything too crazy when he was there, but he has not totally come back from Iraq, he is back about 99%, but only a wife would notice the other per cent. I think we have really come far together, as a family, as a couple and as individuals. I love him with so much joy that I get to have the rest of our lives together. He has saved me from myself when we met, helped me to find God again and given me a life and a family, I can never express my gratitude. It is amazing what happens when we actually 'let' God take the controls and steer us on our path. I can only imagine what it will be like in the years to come if we can fully surrender to His holy will...He got us through a war, thank you God. Please pray for us that we continue to accept God's will in all ways, that we may hear His words more clearly in our everyday and that we, "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)

My Little Locks of Love

I am amazed, sometimes, with a child's understanding of life. There are not really any gray areas, only absolutes. I think this is why when we answer maybe, it confounds them, especially when we ask the to give us absolutes. In any case, on with my posting...
Let's see, today I showered for the day and thought it was about time I cut my hair for Locks of Love (if there is anyone who is not familiar, just google it)...I called a friend who cuts hair to ask for help and she directed me to Ulta Salon who cuts hair for Locks of Love free of charge (unless you want something extra special for your post-styling). I found my local Ulta and called to set up an appointment. Katherine told me, "But, mom, I like your hair pretty in a braid." I told her I understood and explained the reason why I was doing it and even showed her a couple pictures on the website so she could have a visual. She reassured me that she was NOT going to have her hair cut today (which wasn't even mentioned by me), which I told her was fine, but I was still cutting mine. We got there about 20 minutes or so early, but that turned out alright, our girl was ready for us. We got me up there as Katherine watched on. The measurement...the ponytailing...finally, the big cut! Katherine watched from the side with her fingers in her mouth. Next, I was taken over for a quick shampoo and conditioning, then back to trim up the stragglers. As I sat and had our girl trim, Katherine spoke very softly and said, "Mommy, I want to do my hair for Lots of Love, too." Over the course of a few minutes I talked to her about how her hair would be short, but it would grow back. She was sure. She told me that she wanted to give her hair to kids who don't have any. How could I argue with that? In my going with her, I had a glimmer of hope that she may choose to do the same thing someday, or at the very least understand the idea of giving things to others who are without, but I did not expect that she would be willing to give up her praised locks so quickly! I am grateful be to a part of a her life, she is amazing and I hope she keeps such confidence and selflessness. I will tell you a secret, I got a little choked up when she told me that she wanted to give her hair in such a beautiful and innocent way...anyone who knows her, knows this was her first 'real' haircut (not counting when she has taken her own scissors to her hair). I am in awe of the sweetness in my daughter...I have always known her sweet disposition, it's kinda hard to miss when you are someone's mom, but I am always pleased when I see her grow and nurture that part. I think I am out of words for now, much Love and Peace to all. XXOOXXOO

St Patrick's Breastplate

Once I found this, I just loved it. I hope everyone likes it as much as I do, it should be on all our breastplates as we face our spiritual warfare in these great times of Lent. First is my favorite part, then I will post the entire thing =) (I found this on Orthodoxwiki)


Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ in breadth, Christ in length, Christ in height,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.

Lorica means breastplate in Latin. The story of this prayer is that Patrick and his followers used this most beautiful prayer to protect themselves from the people who wanted to kill them as they travelled across Ireland. It is also called the Deer's Cry (Fáed Fíada) because their enemies saw, not men, but deer. It may not have been written by Patrick, but is considered to reflect his theological focus on the Trinity.

I arise today
through a mighty strength,
the invocation of the Trinity,
through belief in the Threeness,
through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation.
I arise today
through the strength of Christ with His Baptism,
through the strength of His Crucifixion with His Burial,
through the strength of His Resurrection with His Ascension,
through the strength of His descent for the Judgment of Doom.
I arise today
through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
in obedience of Angels, in the service of the Archangels,
in hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
in prayers of Patriarchs, in predictions of Prophets,
in preachings of Apostles, in faiths of Confessors,
in innocence of Holy Virgins, in deeds of righteous men.
I arise today
through the strength of Heaven:
light of Sun, brilliance of Moon, splendour of Fire,
speed of Lightning, swiftness of Wind, depth of Sea,
stability of Earth, firmness of Rock.
I arise today
through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me, God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me, God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me, God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me, God's shield to protect me,
God's host to secure me:
against snares of devils,
against temptations of vices,
against inclinations of nature,
against everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and anear, alone and in a crowd.
I summon today all these powers between me (and these evils):
against every cruel and merciless power that may oppose my body and my soul,
against incantations of false prophets,
against black laws of heathenry,
against false laws of heretics,
against craft of idolatry,
against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
against every knowledge that endangers man's body and soul.
Christ to protect me today
against poison, against burning,
against drowning, against wounding,
so that there may come abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ in breadth, Christ in length, Christ in height,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
through a mighty strength,
the invocation of the Trinity,
through belief in the Threeness,
through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation.
Salvation is of the Lord.
Salvation is of the Lord.
Salvation is of Christ.
May Thy Salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.

Service of Love

On my way home I had a lot of time to think about a varied many things. One of those things was love. (Surprise, Surprise!) I have been reading excerpts from a book called, "Wounded by Love" a book about the life of Elder Porphyrious of Mount Athos. It is a sort of commentary, journal entry-style writings of his life and experiences. More to the point, it opens doors about love, it begins to lift the veil. I started to think about how love is not merely an emotion, because if it were simply how we felt, it would be fleeting and changeable. We know differently, love does not change, but we do and our emotions sway. If love were just an emotion, then it would be right up there with anger and jealousy, for example. What an awful thought, love as a simple passing emotion with no more substantiality than what it creates in that exact moment? Instead, I am thinking that since love, true love, not just the kind we fall in love with, is not a changeable feeling about things, it is more consumable than we realize. Love is so many things, but moveable is not one of them.
We are born into a family, out of relation we love each other in our disfunction, I do not think that we ever really stop no matter how hard we try, we might get hurt and things get in the way, but love does not stop. We grow up and we take what we have learned about love and apply it to real world situations, not all of them turn out so great, but we learn our limits, hopefully. It is how we approach this love that will be the deciding factor for us, is it simply an emotion, and just like an emotion, can we just get rid of it if we get tired enough of it and this person or situation? Or have we had a better example that is not so flighty and fickle? What are our examples, where do we learn love? Well, for most, it is the picture of our parents and family structure. Thankfully for me, my parents stayed married through all the rough patches. This shows me that love is patient and has plenty of endurance, love is not a mere feeling. But what sort of love can keep them together after all these years? A symbiotic coexistence that is inclusive of forgiveness, patience, self-sacrifice and faith. Some do not believe that faith makes much difference since we seem to do all the work between ourselves as it is, but you see, to some, faith is a simple emotion also. Perhaps it helps in our ability to relate if we both believe the same things, but where do our feelings really get us in the end? They are the spark that gets us going, but what really keeps things burning? It is our willingness to serve those we love, we would do 'anything' for them, so far as to die for them if need be, to take their place in any necessary hardship. So, why is it that we forget that love is a service for others, an obedience (OH NO! not THAT word!). We also have to remember that obedience is not always being told what to do, it is also realizing what we need to do in order to make things work better, to coexist. When we create a family with another person, with children or not, we are binding ourselves that in order to make this relationship work, we are willing to sacrifice and compromise, or else it will not work. Any person of experience can tell you that love is work, but why does that have to be a bad thing? Just because a larger chunk of us do not care for our employment, why must we apply that attitude to other areas of work, particularly our love? People are turned off by love because of the way it has made them feel, but if we serve love, we cannot really ever lose anything except ourselves in God because no one can take Him from us.
God asks us to love our neighbor, perhaps this does not mean, 'I like you', but, 'I will serve you as if you were Christ.' If our Lord and God and Saviour was standing in front of you, would you not ask what it is you can do for Him, to serve Him? If God is supposed to be everywhere, then why are we not asking Him this every day and with every breath and showing Him through our service for Him? If we are supposed to be made in His image, why do we not treat each other as if Christ were each of us? If we sin against God and we are in His image, does it not stand to reason that we sin against one another? This is why we ask one another forgiveness of sin, known or unknown, word or deed, mind or thought. "...Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." We are asking God to forgive us as we have also forgiven one another, so let it go into the wind, let Pride die in that moment to ask forgiveness in humility and receive forgiveness from our struggling fellow human family, as well as God. Prayer is also service because we must set ourselves aside and acknowledge others and ask God for help, not only for us, but for those for whom we care. Since we are fallible and God is our salvation and hope, through prayer we can work wonders in cooperation with God.
The greatest expression of love has been Christ's crucifixion, "for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.." (not ver batum, but close enough, perhaps in one translation), a sacrifice of love which IS love. On top of that, we have Mary who so loved God, she watched her Son be tortured, humiliated and crucified in order that He fulfill His promise. She knew that it would be an horrific event, but she also understood God's love for us through His sacrifice and and exhibited this through her own sacrifice. If we are called to be Christ-like, should it not be shown in our obedience, duty and service to God? Mary was deemed a worthy vessel to bear, raise and love Him, through her obedience and love for God. Christ calls us to service, to take up our cross and gives us His example to follow and so we must set down our shield of Pride and take up the sword of service, humility and righteousness. The saints of His Church have proved themselves worthy through their service and humility to God to not only inspire us, but show us that it is possible to be as Christ is because they accomplished that enormous task, with His help. The Bible says that we should believe, but what is belief without love and what is love without service and service without sacrifice? Our new commandment is to love one another as He has loved us, does that not mean to be crucified, if need be, for your neighbor whether we know or like them at all, believers or not? "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God IS a consuming fire. Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. "-Orthodox study Bible, Hebrews 12:28-13:2. In black and white. It is not so that people will see what we can do for them, or even what Christ can 'do' for them, but that we show them who He is through our actions that they may keep Him in their hearts, whether or not they can tell that is what is there. If I cannot talk, I can smile, if I have bread, I can share, if I have anything, I can give, for that is fleeting, but God is not. Our active participation in His life, service to His flock and creation, love for all He has given us and shown, the martyrdom of oneself through love for our spouse, family and neighbor should be a prime concern. Unfortunately I am a miserable failure in this, though I try...let's just say I have much room for improvement.
Now we get to the part where I try to discern what all this actually means for me in application and reality. Let's see, for love of my husband my service shall be to anticipate his needs before he says them...cook, clean and organize...raise our daughter in a fitting manner for a Christian to the best of my ability...stand for him (and Him) in all I do...place him at the top of my list of priorities...listen to all his dreams and disappointments without judgement...be with him and let him know I always will be...do things for myself so I am a more cheerful giver of myself...support him in all he chooses to do...love him the way he needs to be loved, not the way I want him express love. There are so many other things, but this is a good start. As for Katherine, my love shall serve her by doing things for her own good...show her an example of what a woman should be, no matter how bloomin hard that is...do the right thing, which usually means the hard thing...take her to church, for without the grace of God and His church, I have no hope of success, but guaranteed failure...Pray, Pray, Pray!...attempt to listen to God in His wisdom for guidance and opportunities to show her how to be a daughter to Him. I could go on, but I think that you get the point.
For now, it is sufficed to say, God is Love, Love is Service, Service is Sacrifice, Sacrifice is Selflessness (or as Katherine has just informed me, Sacrifice is Giant) and Selflessness is humility and humility is Christ, therein is our circle of self-realization
Please forgive me a sinner if I have offended in any way and pray for this unworthy servant of Christ our God.
Much love and service to everyone, until next time.