A Tidbit from my recent reading...

"Before anything else one must believe in God, 'that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him' (Heb. 11:6)

Faith, according to the teaching of St. Antioch, is the beginning of our union with God. One who truly believes is a stone in the temple of God; he is prepared for the edifice of God the Father, raised to the heights by the power of Jesus Christ, that is, of the Cross, with the aid of the ropes, that is, the grace of the Holy Spirit.

'Faith without works is dead' (James 2:26), and the works of faith are: love, peace, long-suffering, mercy, humility, rest from all works (as God rested Himself from His works), bearing of the Cross, and life in the Spirit. Only such faith can be considered true. True faith cannot be without works; one who truly believes will unfailingly have works as well."

-St. Seraphim of Sarov, on Faith, from the Little Russian Philokalia: Spiritual Instruction, pg 25

A Little More...

Well, it was one liturgical year ago on Pentecost, that we found out about Jay's problem's with gluten...in fact, on Ascension just before that, we had a Molebin to pray for answers to his health problems and here we are. Seems funny to me, that year was so long ago. Things are far from where they were and still further from where we are going, but still we truck on. There are so few words to adequately describe the way our lives have changed and become molded in our struggles, but many things have come to pass. It is amazing to me the things we learn and what becomes important when life is more valuable from breath to breath, than anything you could imagine.

Katherine has blossomed as her papa's little girl. They have been learning to have such a wonderful relationship and have so many interests alike. They are really quite a sight, I love them both dearly. She is growing up in ways that make my heart break with love sometimes. She is articulate, funny and just like the both of us, which in turn, becomes her very own person with a whole lot of spunk! She loves art, animals, horses, books, learning to ride her bike (and going on the back of papa's tag along), friends, family and nearly anything you can imagine. She is something else.

Jay has been improving, though we are reminded on occasion how far he still has. I have caught myself getting used him being better, not well, but better than before now. It keeps me on my toes and I can be grateful for that since my tendencies lean me toward lazy and I can appreciate a little nudge ;o) He will start school again in august, God willing, so we barely have these few weeks before that to get him in top shape to give it a go AND spend time together AND try to rest AND keep a routine...you get the picture.

I have been riding my bike more often and that has proven to be a tremendous joy. I enjoy the challenge and am glad to give myself the opportunity to be more active. I am still knitting...so many projects, so much yarn, but so little time. I have often found myself thinking of things that I would like to say, but then hiding them away in my mind or heart until they hatch and establish themselves...In the midst of all of this, I have had many thoughts on life that sometimes I still chew. One of the most resounding things I have been learning to grasp is that no matter what we do, or try to at any rate, can keep us from death, the death of the body, if He so wills it. I know there are many an unbeliever in the world these days, but I wonder where a persons heart and soul is when they are in the 11th hour and death is so near you can almost touch it. I have found where mine is, and has been, when contemplating the mortality of us all in the minutes that peel away the hours....

So, here we are, one liturgical year ago we discovered one problem, for which I am thankful. We have had loads of help, support and prayers, for which we are grateful and now we look toward what will continue to become of us. Until next time, Sprazdnikom, Happy Feast of Pentecost, Congratulations!!!

Blessed art Thou, O Christ our God, Who hast revealed the fishermen as most wise by sending down upon them the Holy Spirit - through them Thou didst draw the world into Thy net. O Lover of Man, glory to Thee!

Grab Bag

I have been wanting to blog lately but haven't been around or had anything in my brain that was trying to seep out into the bloggo-sphere. Anyway, I thought that maybe I would just update on what has been going on around these parts. Here goes!

Jay's health has been improving, he is by no means well yet, but is certainly on the way inn that direction. Still, there are 'good' days and 'bad' days, the good days are great and the bad days are still pretty low, he just gets wiped out. It takes a lot of energy being ill and what little energy he has in the first place is zapped away for the day, sometimes more than one day at a time, if we include recovery. If we look on the bright side, we are miles from where we were months ago, even just weeks ago, so for that, we are grateful.

Katherine is getting SO big anymore, all she wants to do is swim, eat watermelon and grapes, and go on bike rides. Can't say that I blame her. She is becoming quite a little girl, so very animated and deliberate in herself. Tonight there was a thunderstorm and when it is bedtime, the thunderstorms get to be distracting with a bit of uneasy excitement. She ended up in our bed and I laid down with her and turned off the light. We cuddled and talked while the lightening would flash and we'd count until the thunder would come rolling in. I kept thinking to myself how big she is and how I will miss this when she is bigger, but I have it now...

I went to home depot, finally, and got the material to make a large, two-tiered planter for the patio. Went by the garden place and got some good dirt to fill it all up. It is hard to describe, but growing things is far more than just for food or something pretty, there is something there in the co-creation of a living thing. We have LOTS of things in different places planted and we are just waiting for them to pop out and say hello. I am particularly interested in the basil, we planted two different kinds, a flat-leaf italian one (I think) and a greek mini bush basil. MMMMmmm, basil! Katherine is old enough now that she may get the concept to not eat all the herbs before we can make something with them...but even if not, at least she is enjoying the little patio garden. In the newly built planter we gave her a small section to plant her own carrots. She chose the 'carnival' blend and so they are supposed to be different colors of the rainbow. I will never forget when she had a carrot that was purple (I think, or so purple it looked black) and she said, with a hint of disappointment, "It just tastes like a regular carrot!" I hope her crop is bountiful, it is a good experience for her. When we have pictures, I will try to remember to post them.

I am feeling industrious lately, trying to get a good handle on things around these parts. The nice weather helps because I try to set times to get things done and then go enjoy the rest of the day with the little family. While I am more industrious in those areas, I have been particularly unmotivated in the knitting arena...I need a project that has a deadline, I think. So many things to knit, but nowhere to start...or something like that. Maybe I will think of something to make for Jay for his birthday, that gives me a month, just over. Maybe some nice wooly socks for when the weather cools, or for camping or something...hmm, perhaps....

Anyway, I think I ought to be off to bed here soon, Katherine and I might get to go to coffee tomorrow for a long overdue mother's day treat. Maybe we'll ride bikes...in any case, I am off to bed! Good night to all...'For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. Psalm 91:11'

Oooh, pretty!

Jay found this and I thought I might re-post it to share with everyone...enjoy!




The moon is seen rising in the sky above the domes of the Smolny Cathedral in St.Petersburg, Russia, in the early dawn, Tuesday, May 19, 2009, in this photo taken with a digital camera through the eyepiece of a telescope. (AP Photo/Dmitry Lovetsky)

THe Baptism of Pelagia, a God-mother's account and musing

Everything is sort of a blur, and I am here sitting and thinking about my God-motherhood. I remember being spurred on to say the trisagion prayers for the churching and then bundling the little darling in a blanket to begin the prayers and baptism. I held her there as Katherine wandered over next to me, meeting this task and adventure with a family, not just a 'mother', to represent. A few little whispers and kisses, prayer after prayer and confession of faith, a little anointing...off to be unwrapped and be immersed into the tomb of Christ thrice. Out she came, so soft and warm. Getting dressed was not welcome at first, but she gave in after a minute. More prayers and a procession around the church, a little more of this and that, then it is over. WHOOSH, and so it begins, a life in Christ.

I awoke this morning in anticipation of taking her to her first communion and being able to commune myself, God help us get there in a reasonable time so I can sing, Palm Sunday is not a day to get lost in the crowds if a person can help it! Well, enough on that...Fr Boris came out to finish 'churching' just before communion, the servant of God, Pelagia...tiny and angelic in her little white gown and bonnet. Her stiff arms outstretched as if reaching for God. As she was lifted up, "in the name of the Father" and her small crown of white bonnet is the top of the sign of the cross, I imagine to myself she is being lifted up to God the Father, in Heaven..."and of the Son," her feet dip down and make the bottom of the sign of the cross and I think of how Christ came down, into this earthly world to save us..."and of the Holy Spirit, Amen." Her bitty reaching arms and hands go side to side to complete the sign of the cross and I envision between God the Father at the top and God the Son at the bottom and then God the Holy Spirit which is everywhere and fillest all things in between. I cannot truly describe it all, but she was like a little angel and so darling. She was first to commune as per tradition and partially woke to receive and get back to sleep, no fuss.

She is my fourth God-child and they are all girls (maybe God is trying to tell me something). I have more children through God's Grace than my own will, and I am grateful, even if 80% are spiritual daughters. If I could not have anymore just yet, or even ever, I will always have my girls. I love them all dearly and each has a special place in my heart. I find this task bittersweet, a challenge and a blessing, a sort of podvig. One of the greatest benefits, I think, is learning how to truly pray, for that is what I think will come of it all. They are not of my blood, it seems easier to pray for those of my own line, but they are a part of me and so the greatest gift I hope to offer for each of them is a heart of a mother that is offered to God in prayers of love and hope. If prayer is love and vice versa, perhaps I will stumble upon that as well. I have learned a lot from being mother to Katherine and I have the opportunity to use some of what I have learned to give to my other girls. So, to Sara and Elena, Talia and, now, Pelagia, I love you all dearly and hope to live up to the expectation of my duty, Kuma is so happy to be a part of your lives, hugs and kisses always...May God bless you all the days of your lives.

Thought and Reading

We have been reading a lot during these last couple weeks. As a family, we have finished the first 'Little House' book and started into the next. Katherine absolutely LOVES them and we spend a great deal of time reading and hanging out together, which never would have been the case right now had Jay not gotten so sick causing him to still be at home. Our other readings are the Bible, our routine readings that include the daily readings and our own selections.

I have enjoyed reading in Genesis lately. I find myself thinking about how there is reference to how men are the sons of God and women are the daughter's of men. Now, if you think of it just as it is as I have stated, it only stands to reason that it is particularly sexist and that it does not include us all as children of the Almighty. If you read it in context, and I mean start from the beginning and get there, it really makes more sense than it gives way. You see, God made 'man' from the earth, dirt...woman was made from Adam's flesh. It only stands to reason that men, who were born of God and earth, would be sons of God and women, being born of Adam's rib as he slept, as a gift from God, should be referred to as the daughter's of men, for we have sprung forth from his flesh. It also brings into light, our union in marriage, we become one flesh again, we are no longer our own persons, but one. The rib is joined back to the body of Adam and we can begin to work symbiotically toward our eternity, together in oneness and unity. We are two halves of the same whole, we each have a share in our eventual eternity whether or not we work together. Just something to ponder...

I have been reading a little in a couple books: Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings, Elder Macarius of Optina and The Spiritual Psalter. I like them all very much, the one that has my most attention is the Psalter...I will one of my most recent favorite portions:

"Third Stasis, #117: Life's lessons-eight evil thoughts

Know that there are eight evil thoughts that bring about all that is vile: those of sensuality, lechery, love of money, anger, inappropriate grief, despondency, vainglory, and pride. All these conduct warfare with every man."

Here it goes on about each in turn, but here is the one that I like best...

"...If you want to conquer pride, then whatever you do, say not that you do it by your own labors, or with your own strength. But if you fast and stand vigil or sleep on bare ground or sing psalms, or serve in the altar or do a great number of prostrations, say that it was done with God's help and protection, not by your own strength and effort."

Well, off to have lunch withe little family...and I am sure some of you are wondering, the answer is, yes, I am knitting almost daily too =)

Here we are again

Well, here we are. Forgiveness Sunday, Great Lent...this year is a particularly interesting one for so many reasons. There is not a lot for me to say, I would not have the words if I tried, but we are here. The lenten cusp, what will there be? There is not much difference between great lent and other times of the year, we are just trying harder, we want to come to the feast as clean as possible, difficult as that may be at times. Here is what I am thinking about...
-I plan to be offline during the week days and have minimal use on weekends.
-I hope to find a chapter book to read as a family in the evenings to increase family togetherness and such.
-Find a better routine for cleaning around this joint since we are pretty settled into Jay being home.
-Spend less time idly and more time being productive and proactive.
-Read through all the Psalms at about 3-4 a day as well as the daily regular readings.
oh, the list goes on...some I will not share because they are for me to know, but you get the idea.
Please forgive me if I have offended any of you, in mind or thought, word or deed, known or unknown, please forgive me a sinner. May God bless everyone during this wonderful time and give us wisdom to grow closer to Him.
Much Love to all!