Memory Eternal

This is a repost from 12/10/10, but very appropriate right now. Dad fell asleep in The Lord saturday morning, the day all of the Orthodox faithful worldwide are praying for the dearly departed, and he was buried yesterday in Platina.

God Keep You Now and Always

I am given to thoughts of life
Thoughts of precious, wasted moments
Fleeting perfected love and simplicity
My heart is broken
Though, as if it never knew how to love
Until this time when you may leave
We are all going to lose this gift
This life of what we know
But the tears cannot quiet
The disruption inside my soul
This thrashing in seclusion
Find me weeping, see me standing
Barely keeping a single thought long
Torn in pieces
But only beginning to understand
Only now can I know the enigma that is whole
Yet there is no solace anywhere tangible
The pulling at my heart consumes each breath
Is in each step and utterance
I see your face and long to always
Your presence never meant more
Why, I do not know
A solemn and jagged peace is lingering
As if to comfort and calm
How will I ever let you go?
How could I ask you to stay?
Be at peace and know that no matter
We shall remain and carry on
This life can never be the same
Though we can hardly ever be apart 
Oh, that I could have been the daughter I ought have
Oh, that I could breath in the moments of waste
Breathing out only that which profits us both
Ah, but we cannot regret 
That which makes us who we become
Without those many lessons
I might have not made it here

I know how to love
Because of you
I know how to give
Because of you
I know who I am
Because of you
I am a daughter given to be a wife
Because of you
I am strong and fearless
Because of you
I am loving, compassionate and open
Because of you

Our hearts come from the same seed
From the beginning of time
The line runs deep and vast
It draws us into nearness and love
A kindred understanding of life
A common hope and purpose
Intertwined in this dancing prism of life
Forever and for always, my papa you will be
Know that I am where you are perpetually
For you are here and may not know it
Your life and memory will live on
In our hearts, without fail
May the God of all bless you
The Most Holy Theotokos stay by your side
Your guardian angel guide you
St. Seraphim comfort and guard you
May all the saints, known and unknown
Pray unto God for the salvation and purification of your soul
That you be without blemish when He comes
None can keep you from Him
Though why should we wish to do so
May enlightenment be upon you
Understanding, peace and love
Constantly keeping you 

May God keep those of us that must stay
That it be to the glory of God
Forever and ever, Amen

Changes in Time

Sometimes a feeling has to begin without

To strike the chords within

The daydream where I walk is paved in memories

Love 

Bittersweetness of life 

My feet do not touch the ground 

Though the weight within my heart seeks 

To sink me... 

I have this body

But the disconnect that separates 

These thoughts

This heart 

Are worlds apart

Dragging on with diligence and devotion 

Into a sea of magnitude

I feel driven to empty the contents within

Yet so withdrawn 

I cannot even fathom the distance between 

A calmness soothes 

The noises surround fuse

Becoming a sweet bite of life 

Walking ever closer

Always nearer

You.

I Love You, Dad

The evening light 

Of starlit night

Waits quietly in awe

To put to bed 

The restless head

Of those who fret and toil

Stand fast and near

My love, my dear

This shall also pass

As waves of sea

Depart from me

So, too, will you in time

Change of tides

Love still abides

Always keeping us together.

Forgiveness Sunday

We are on the brink of full immersion into Great Lent and the sunday wherein we ask forgiveness of those in our lives, so as to begin with as clear a conscience as possible and reconciled to our brother's and sister's who are the image of God. In the spirit of forgiveness, please forgive me, a sinner. Please forgive my thoughts and thoughtlessness, my action and inaction, my words, deeds, selfishness, or offences of any kind, as I am fallible and without excuse. May your lenten journey be fruitful and peaceful; Lord, have mercy!

My Love

Awake in the night

She cries with fright

Heaviness in all her heart

Nothing will settle this weight

It hangs nearby 

Looming as troubles brew

Little darling, sweet child

I will come to you in darkness

Allay your fears with kisses

Wrapping arms around your struggles

Carrying away any sorrow

Holding one another

Tomorrow will come

We will see the sun rise

Alit upon our cheeks

Sun's beauty and warmth

Offering truth and simplicity

Only life can know its depth

A Prevalent Notion

Like a flower

Plucked from the field

I sit in wait

As the day begins to fade

The weight of eternity

Rests knowingly upon my heart

Whether I will or not

Truth pervades within

Tugging and striving

Drawing every breath

Each movement 

Of deepest tranquility

Becomes a solace

Though turmoil resides 

Kicking up dissent and wrath

Strength and peace

Prevail

Lenten Preparations and Discussions

Just two weeks more and we are in the midst of Great Lent; so it begins again. A journey onward and upward, toward Golgotha, cross on our shoulders, as we look inward to watch the ways in which we might focus better on God, helping our neighbor, seeking a repentant heart, in preparation for one of God's greatest gifts He has ever given us: His Resurrection!

With Great Lent comes prayer, fasting, almsgiving, selflessness, and the like, as we make efforts to prepare ourselves for Pascha. Oftentimes, when we think of prayer and fasting, we focus on the very tangible aspect of them, such as food. One of the things we are discussing in Sunday school is the concept of watchfulness over our thoughts, actions, and words. I am having each kid keep a watchfulness journal/list, if you will, in which they have written things they hope to do each day during the great fast. Some of the ideas that we have come up with include not fighting with siblings, doing chores without complaint, watching what we say/watch on tv/music we listen to, etc., simply governing ourselves in a manner that is more controled and aware of how our actions effect others. I will also keep a book to walk with them in every way I can, and we are to visit the list daily in the mornings and/or evenings, in order to remind us and keep us accountable.

At home, we are making a list of hopeful tasks to accomplish, from reinstating family reading time in the evenings to getting paperwork done that has been shuffled around for some time now, as well as, menu planning and healthier eating. This is to be added to our family prayer time in the morning and evenings, and before and after meals, saints of the day and daily Bible reading. I would like to focus more energy on crafting for myself, because I have ever so many projects that get swept beneath the carpet when I allow the chatter of the world to creep in and drown out what should be done. Sis is in my Sunday school class, so she will have her own personal list, and maybe Jay will play along with us in his own way; I know he is game usually.

As with as many Great Lent's as I can remember, we will do our traditional planting of seeds in the first week. We will plant outside for cool weather plants, like peas and lettuce, and inside for the warm weather babies, like tomatoes, cucumbers, and beans. With God's help, we will have something to eat and perhaps enough to can for the following winter. The spiced peaches I canned back in August are surely being appreciated by everyone lately, which makes all the hard work totally worth it. Sometimes it seems tedious, especially when learning a something new, but at some point it becomes familiar and systematic. I hope to have enough cucumbers of our own, or supplement from the local grower's market, to make plenty of pickles; we have been without this year due to our growing season being effected by a number of factors, not the least of which being the terrible fires that causes awful smoke and lack of proper growing conditions. 

Ok, I think that is about it for now. Peace be with you.