Christ in the Stranger's Guise

I am writing in response to Petra's blog about begging and I am posting here because it wouldn't let me do it on her site. You can see what she wrote if you click on the Petra link on the right side of your page.
That said, I agree on many levels, I also try to imagine that it is not my job to wonder or know how money is spent if it is given and it is only my job to do the giving. It reminds me of this Old Gaelic Rune I read one time, it says,
I saw a stranger yestere'en
I put food in the eating place
Drink in the drinking-place
Music in the listening-place
And in the sacred name of the Triune
He blessed myself and also my house
My cattle and my dear ones
And the lark said in her song,
Often, often, often
Goes Christ in the stranger's guise
Often, often, often
Goes Christ in the stranger's guise.
It makes me think about how we are supposed to give whatever we have whenever possible. That when we give it, it is not really ours that we are giving, it is Gods and we are mere messenger's.
I think that is about it for now.
X's and o's, Xen

"Breaking the Fast"

I have been thinking lately about just that, " breaking the Fast". We usually confess to this when it pertains to food or drink, things that we physically put into our bodies. In actuality, isn't it also the abstinence from those other vices as well? I find that this Lent I am learning a bit about how little food I need to function just as well as when I am eating all that meat and dairy, I think doing even better, but that it is a good lesson that just because it tastes good, I should not have another helping. The fasting from foods is to help teach us about the more spiritual aspect of our lives, the realities, if you will. To become upset that we have done something in our own control that is against what we know to be right can be useful OR harmful...if we choose to get upset but do not learn from and/or change the behavior then it is to our demise, but if we can at least be grieved but productive with it we can begin to overcome those things which keep us. It is my understanding that we are always supposed to do our best, not the best that we have ever done or possibly ever will, but our best that we can at that moment. We should be capable of making decisions that reflect our self-control and foresight, allowing us to choose as wisely as possible, the best avenue at the time. We are called to pay attention, be alert to our spiritual state and how we allow it to effect our body and mind. I like a couple of quotes about fasting, the first is by Hyperechios, "It is better to eat meat and drink wine, and not eat the flesh of one's neighbors through slander." And from Elias the Presbyter, "Some are most careful about the foods they take in, but negligent about the words they give out." I know they are similar, but I like them because they show us that we have to pay attention to every aspect of our being, that through fasting we do not somehow overcome all of those things at our disposal but are given the tools to learn better to control ourselves and keep our energies for more worthy tasks such as prayer. We learn to truly be moderate. It must be learned over time and through prayer, with God's help we can accomplish anything, but we must choose well what those things are.
I am only a lay person but I do hope that I am learning what I am supposed to and am able to apply it properly. I have often been a person who learns things the hard way and it is still often thus, but I do hope that it will not always be so difficult to understand things better the first time around. I am continually telling my daughter that I don't want to have to tell her again and would appreciate if she do something right away when I ask her the first time, some advice often given and far less often followed. What infinite patience and love for us God must have to continue over and over to allow us opportunites to live up to our potential! For that I am grateful.

Ode to Jay

My husband, so sweet and smart
Thoughtful, kind and giving
A little kooky and un-PC
Very hard-working
That's him
Helpful and good
The best dad around
Babygirl's hero
Reading books and learning
What kind of man to find
If she ever wants to marry
No better man she'll find
We are the luckiest girls that ever were!
My husband, her daddy
So sweet and smart

A Thought

I guess I haven't written in awhile, but I have not had too much to say. I come up with half-hatched ideas and they all sound good in my brain when I am in the shower, or driving...Oh well, must not have been too important, right? But it was, or they seemed to be. I s'pose it is better to be on a destination to somewhere and have little to say, than to have nowhere in particular to venture and have too much to say. "They" say that silence is golden, who are "they"? I don't know, does that really matter when it is true? I think I can understand sometimes why people might choose a "vow of silence", but with a 3 y.o. that would be a bit of a stretch. I don't think I would want to be quiet all of the time, I just want to learn to hold my tongue at the proper moments as not to offend anyone or anything else. No one teaches that these days, when it is proper not to talk and when we ought. I want to bring back charm school, I think those values are sadly lost! I am sure they have them still, but they are lesser known and probably set for today's lifestyle. Sometimes I just want to live in another century, or just another decade, because even with the lack of medical advancements we would be busy enough to have a better focus on life in general. When we are physically exhausted from lots of tiring work we don't have time to think about what our neighbor is doind and why we can't have this or that like everyone else. Life doesn't change, only circumstance. I think it to be very true, people for thousands of years haven't changed, just technology and capability. There have always been people falling in love, going to war, lying, cheating, stealing, working, having babies, being political, what is so different about now? If science is right about evolution, why haven't we evolved out of our human nature? I will tell you why, science isn't right! It is our fallen nature from Adam and Eve that gives us such predictable qualities. What will happen 100 years from now? You don't have to be psychic to know that someone in the world will be at war (unless the anti-christ brings the peace), people everywhere will be looking for answers, there will be love, hunger, envy, hate, new life, death, "justice" and injustice, happiness, sadness and so on down the list. Why? Because an entire race of humans aren't going to change. I am not pesimistic, more like realistic. All I know is that it matters what I do with this life, who I am and what I believe ARE relevant. Our free will allows us to choose how we will live our lives but our fallen nature keeps us bound in these shackles from which we try to escape. Totally pointless without God. Not everyone agrees, but that's not unusual.
Well, so much for not having anything to say. That is enough ranting for now, sorry for the blathering. Talk to you soon, Xen

Forgiveness Sunday

Well, the title says it all. Today is our day of forgiveness, to seek it from others and to support each other on our journey. It is a sort of liberating time for all of us in church to know that regardless of age, gender, race, language or anything else we all come together to ask forgiveness and know that we are all in this struggle as a family in Christ. God calls us to forgive one another and that through this act we allow ourselves to become closer to on another and also to God; that we should know Him better and that He know us as we ought to be. In my family, we ask eack other forgiveness every night before bed that we may not hold a grudge and try to be humble towards one another even when we don't feel like it or want to. I am undeserving of my wonderful family, but God has seen fit to give them to me so I try everyday to be worthy. There are so many things that cloud my vision of the way I ought to be and I do not turn as often as I should to God for the help I desparately need. It also takes a lot to admit that I need the help, to learn the proper surrendering of my soul and life to Him. I am much happier when I am in complete submissive obedience, to a lot of people that sounds as if I am a slave, to me it is freeing, I am only a slave to my sins, my fallen nature. Something so simple made confusing by being human. In any case, please forgive me, a sinner. May God forgive us all. One of the great mysteries of God is we will never know in this life the extent of God's mercy and love. God be with you all. Until next time.

Great Lent

It is upon us as every year in preparation of the Bright Resurrection; Great Lent. It is earlier this year so it seems as if we barely finished with everthing else. It is so cold, too. What is in a name? Great Lent...it seems so daunting to some, because great means big, but I think that Lent truly is great in the literal sense of the word as well. Most people think of the fasting from meat, dairy, etc. or for what we choose to give up as what Lent is and I wonder why. It is interesting to think about sometimes. As an Orthodox Christian, this is what it means to me: Abstinence; from rich foods, from my biggest faults (to the best of my ability)...Self-Denial; what I think I want vs. what God wants for me. Learning; to be still, to be a better Christian, to be a better mom and wife...The sweet celebration of the Bright Resurrection and knowing that the sweetness in the end is due to the struggle and the journey. Some people choose a different way of going about things but for me this is what Lent is right now, I never know what I will learn, sometimes not until much later than I think. This is the first year that after the Nativity of Christ I am left wanting more, wanting Lent. I am truly looking forward to this years journey and with God's help it will be fruitful. Please pray for me on this journey, "And when you pray, do not use vain repetitionsas the heathen do. For they think they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come. On earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Thine is the knigdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen." Matt.6:7-13. Quoting scripture is not something that I normally do, nor does it easily come, but what I wanted to say had already been said so I thought I would look it up. I don't remember where I read it but I think it said something to the effect of, prayer being something in your heart since that is where they come from. Sometimes I think that we do not always know when we are praying. Our souls are searching for the Truth and mine has found its home. For those of you who do, and do not, participate in the Lenten season, may it be fruitful and prosperous.
I think that about does it for my first posting. Talk to you soon, Xen Xen