A Bit of an Update

Here I am for an update on impending madness! Oh joy! For starters, it is almost september and that means it is crunch time. Katherine's birthday is just under 2 weeks and she had her ears pierced on monday, so time is certainly flying by without much heed for the little people. Things are busy as to be expected from end of summer mayhem, but it is a bit of a beat down with Dormition Fast right now. Every year I try to psych myself up for the fact that it is 'only' 2 weeks, but then I end up a couple days in, up against the wall and feeling rather spent and tossed about. So be it, I know there is a purpose and right now, there is only the rest of today and all of tomorrow before it is finished anyway. We will sing one of THE most moving hymns that goes like this:
O ye apostles, assembled here from the ends
of the earth, bury my body in Gethsemane:
and Thou my Son and God, receive my Spirit.
Just imagine that in those simple and few words, there is a portrayal of sorrow and joy, such bittersweetness and melancholic fluidity, yet still so heartening and restful. Anyway, that is what I will be looking forward to tomorrow evening and saturday morning. :o)

Jay has begun school at half time and we shall see if he can handle the stress and homework, please do keep us in your prayers as we venture further into this semester. Katherine's schooling is the same as per usual, but I am going to try to get some copy work for her together to work on which is found on Paidea Classics home website, for anyone else interested. We shall see how I do. I am going to try to get a 'school basket' together to keep everything somewhat contained.

I have spilled the beans and told Meema that we have been thinking about coming for Thanksgiving and, while travel of any kind during any schooling for Jay is against my better judgement, the woman is 94 and who knows how many opportunities to see her. I say that now, but she has made it this far and is still doing all of her volunteering, gardening, housework, etc...you just never know. I really want to just hole up until spring and hibernate away the chill, frost and snow until reemerging after Nativity, but for Meema, we may have to make an exception.

I really have come to despise food. It is the bane of my existence most days and if I didn't have to eat in order to function and survive, I would give it up altogether. It is a necessary evil, in my lowly opinion, but I trying desperately to be grateful for this struggle because if it weren't this, it would be something else...after all, life is a trade-off! Yes, it is a struggle. Yes, sometimes I wish it away and curse it in my head. Yes, it causes me distress and frustration. But I do suppose that it keeps me aware, constantly and consistently, and it teaches me in a different way to understand how I must be watchful and aware of my spiritual struggles and the good fight. It parallels the basics of physical life with that of the spiritual realm and how things are not so different. I must approach my spiritual growth and health with the sort of dedication and resolve as I do the importance of dietary concern for my family. I am learning that, although the fight is worthy, it is not always easy, nor will it always be the same. Its face will change to conform itself into whatever way that it may better tempt me to destroy my will and understand the gravity and purpose of true humility. I cannot change what we need, I can only control the factors that worsen the problem and stand here vigilant in protection of my family's well-being. It is tiresome, thankless and limiting, but then again, who am I to decide how trial by fire shall present itself to us. Determination, through prayer and perseverance, is the only tried and true way through the fires, so onward we trudge, with me and my feet stuck in the muddy swamps of humanity, tired from its painstaking reality and encouraged by the beauty of grasses and cattails that flourish and attract the life of birds and other creatures as they teach me the simplicities in life that I overlooked in years past.

Today I read this psalm, one of my favorite, and I wanted to share it here:

Psalm 27 (KJV)

1The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

2When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

3Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

4One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

5For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

6And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

7Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

8When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.

9Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

11Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

12Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

13I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

So very appropriate for me in most cases, but I was moved to the verge of tears this morning as I realized how much I needed to hear it as the words and meaning resounded in my ears and then ricocheted into my heart to settle in and feed my soul.

Good day to all, may you be blessed in al your journeys.

A Typical Sort of Day With My Little Love

I would like to recap our day of 'schooling', which does not look a lot like a 'conventional' and 'institutional' sort of day, but seems much more learning friendly and greatly tells of why we choose to school at home.

Wake up, whenever, but some days earlier than others. Get dressed, say prayers, get breakfast of homemade granola together and sit down to eat as a family (the only time we may not get to is if Papa has a class that may conflict with timing.) We eat and talk together, Katherine clears all the dishes, we get out her art supplies so she can draw during the reading of a Bible story and Psalms, as per routine. This morning, Papa and Katherine laid on the floor and did art together while I read. After a bit of reading and whenever she finished her art, she came to the table for the first of new copy work printed off of the computer. She likes that it has a picture to color related to 'E', I like that she will have practice writing capital 'E' to work on fine tuning her writing skills. She finishes her work, colors the picture and moves on to eating a fresh peach out of the basket from yesterday's basket blessing of fruit after the liturgy for Transfiguration. I find my way outside to the little garden patch while she plays a little make believe until I point out a grasshopper sunning himself on the cucumber plant. She proceeds to find a way to gather him up and, over a process and time, she eventually makes him just the right home so that he is comfortable, all the while observing her newfound critter. She has named him, 'Grassy', and we can all imagine why. Her interest and care are so magnified and marvelous that I find myself having a certain cheer in my heart as she gleefully shows me her little fellow. Unbeknownst to her, she goes to school most days of the year, without fail, even on sick days when we read together and she watches a documentary about Dolphins, or some such.

Every day is not exactly the same, but the routine remains and her curiosity only seems to grow for the world around her. She loves creatures great and small. She loves her friends and playing make believe. She loves helping in the kitchen and making dinner while encouraging us to 'relax' while she takes care of it. She knows herbs and other plants that grow and whether or not you can eat them. She grazes on lemon balm and basil, carrots and chard while she brings the worlds splendor into her realm of childhood that is all but forgotten anymore. She beckons to the sun, the sky and the moon and they bend to her imagination as she adds to their beauty through her innocence and youth. She is practical, a dreamer, a thinker, a storyteller, a grower, an artist and, best of all, she is a child, with a chance to flourish in her natural world and discover what it all means. I have no doubt that she already keeps the secrets of life wrapped up in her sweet little heart that she carried with her in her years of short life. Those secrets already make sense, now to make sense of the surrounding world and its offerings. She is simple, funny, beautiful, astounding...she is my love.

My Russian Orthodox Church

I would like to begin by saying that this is a bit on why I belong to a Russian Orthodox Church. It escapes people, at times, why an American might choose to attend a church whose language and culture are not their own. I hope to clear a little bit of that up, even if you weren't wondering, I hope it is a good read.

Let's see, when I was 3 years old, my parents became Orthodox Christians in a tiny town so far north in California, it may as well have been Oregon, which is where we eventually moved some years later. I believe all of the people in our little church were american converts from other various backgrounds, but mostly from Catholicism. The church itself was established under the Western American Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia, so imagine that we were part of the Russian Diocese, but not a one of us is of prominent Russian ancestry. So, basic bit of history which might lead a person to believe that I might go where we go because that is simply what I grew up with, but it isn't as easy as all that. After we moved up to Oregon, there was a period of time that we had a dry spell in having a priest and there aren't exactly a plethora of Orthodox churches in southern Oregon, so it isn't as if we would have had our pick and so a separation occurred between myself and the faith of my youth.

Fast forward to years later and I would meet my, now husband, though he lived in the far off land of Colorado. He went home after a week, we emailed, talked on the phone, I came out for a visit and so did he, we met each other's families and then I moved to CO. Whew! After I moved out here, he kept asking about finding a church to attend together and, having been to some Protestant youth groups with friends in my early teen years, I didn't find any comfort in the prospect of looking into any as an adult. Deep down inside, I think the spark was still flickering, something probably only kindled by the prayers of my mom and dad, but fed nonetheless. So, instead of totally writing it off with his talk of churches, I called my mom for an address. We ventured from Fort Collins down to Denver to show him what I grew up with and that was the beginning of everything. He wanted more of what he saw and experienced because it was the same as in Jerusalem and he was apparently searching for it for 5 years, only not knowing where to look.

Ok, so now you get why we are attending church...basically, the Grace of God with a side of initiative. That being said, we didn't HAVE to attend this particular parish, no one forced us to drive from Fort Collins to Denver, 70+ miles one way, to come to this exact church. I do believe that we passed a few along the way, but what could be the draw? Well, this is where we were drawn, I suppose you could say, in, somewhat, the same way I was drawn from Oregon more than 1000 miles eastward to Colorado, just knowing that it was the right thing to do, even though we had only known each other for 5 months at that point, and long-distance, at that!

On to the topic at hand, why a culturally and linguistically different church when there is a variety of Orthodox churches throughout the Denver area? To be honest, in the earlier days, it never even occurred to me to go to any other parish, it was where Jay was baptised, we were married and Katherine was baptised, we have history. That is a good start, but what is more, why have we stayed this whole time, especially when people STILL look at us sideways when we say, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian." All as we help them in the kiosk, bookstore or are volunteering for an event.

I will say this much, the people with whom we attend church are Orthodox Christian's and many happen to be Russian as well, as to be expected. Our specific roots go directly back to Russia, who trace their own parentage to Greece. So, as things would be, America is among the next step in the lineage for many Orthodox Churches, who will also reclaim their roots in many countries, as well as, establish new ones in others. So, first and foremost, I go to church with many Orthodox Christian's whose heritage is Russian. They are our church family, plain and simple.

Another aspect is the language because, let's be honest, how could we overlook it? How do we know where we are in the service and isn't it confusing, what are they saying? Well, for anyone to understand this completely, they would have had to have experienced an Orthodox liturgy, or even a vigil and its timeless and effortless beauty. I was not versed in anything more than, 'Gospodi Pomiluy', means, 'Lord have Mercy', so you can imagine it has been a journey and, in fact, it gave me reason to ponder my innermost thoughts and intentions in life. When things become habitual, I am not unlike your average person, who will take its worth for granted and, in this case, I had a way of memorizing the prayers to the point of glazing over their purpose and they just became words. With the Slavonic, I had to focus on the words to try to pinpoint repetition and patterns, but I also fell in love with the melodies and intensity that only another language can enhance. At times, it is as though the prayers are flowing through me, in and out of the entirety of the church in an infinitely profound and yet, simple, manner.

In closing, I will say that when I listen, God leads my heart into 'green pastures and He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.' (Ps. 23 2-3) I have to imagine that if I was to choose something different from this church it would have more to do with a lacking in my faith or if that is where we are meant to follow, than my parish lacking in having its roots here where I was born. Anyone who looks at me funny for being a part of a Russian Orthodox parish just must not see Christ in Her, because He is the reason we are there, nothing more and nothing less.

Thanks for listening...the next one won't likely be quite so long, but you never know.

A Slow, but Lovely Saturday

So, today is saturday and we are having a slow day around the Dunn household. It is much needed and appreciated. Some nice Ancient Faith Radio is playing in the background, the smell of cookies and purple oat coffeecake bread stuff and a little girl who is chomping at the bit for some of it to eat.



Speaking of the girl, I finished her shrug for her birthday, I just have to be sure to wait that long. Hee hee! Val, from wednesday night knitting, said she has some sculpey clay stuff that we can make some buttons out of for my and Katherine's shrugs. I just have to get on making mine and I will have successfully used the yarn my mommy got me for my hat and my long-sleeved shrug.

I can't think of much else at this point, oh, but wait, there's more! I found a twenty dollar bill in my purse hidden in an envelope and I will now have money to get some fruit to be blessed on thursday after the liturgy for Transfiguration! (Or at least that is my take on it!) Glory to God for all things, whatever they may be!

Dog Ice?

I have been freezing lemon juice, either fresh squeezed or Santa Cruz Organics not from concentrate lemon juice that I dilute, to be used in any case a person may want. Jay likes lemon in his water, so that is what gave me the idea! He thinks they are great and they offer a regulated amount of lemon juice, so you can figure out how much works best. I was even thinking that you could make a simple syrup to sweeten any cold beverage just a little, like iced tea! You could have one of each, a tad of lemon with a touch of sweetness.



Part of the fun is that we got these silicone ice molds in the shape of Scotty Dogs! The best part is that they work like nothing else and I highly recommend silicone molds for ice! Anyone else have any ideas?

Blah

Well, I am writing today to try to stay in the habit, but I am less than lacking in motivation. Jay has a migraine and hasn't really been 'well' in weeks, Katherine is having a fussy sort of day which leads me to believe that she is fighting off a bug, or something, and I woke up late and very groggy. There, that about sums up the whole day.

On another note, I am getting close to finishing Katherine's shrug for her birthday and, when she asked who it is for, I told her, "A little girl." The good thing is that she knows that I make things to donate, so that means that she won't likely question much, even if she suspects it. It is very pretty and I really like the pattern, so I will try to post pictures as soon as it gets finished.

Ah, the impending fall, I can hard wait for the settling that follows. I know it is still a month away, or more, technically and I do alright with the nice weather, but there is so much to do out of the house, it is hard to find time to just be. I find a calming peace in the change of seasons from hot, busy and crazy, to cooler, settling and abundant with harvest foods.

With Jay's health the way it is, I am not sure that we will be able to do anything at all for holidays away from home, whether it is across town, the state or country, so you can imagine that it may be a slow holiday season as well. We shall see, as he will be taking steps to try to reduce his overall stress. Such is life, or at least ours.

Well, I am off to see if Jay needs his second round of migraine meds. Glory to God for all things (not just what we like or want)

Grab Bag Sort of Day

So far today, I have managed to felt bowls that felted to the inside of themselves and swear off that project for knitting for the day and got started on a cute shrug for Katherine out of some Yarn that I know she will really like. Coffee out with some fellow knitters is always a good remember for mishaps and frustration to commiserate about projects gone wrong. Knitting again tonight at the Knitting Habitat for some very welcome sit and knit time with the girls. I figure if I get on a roll knitting, I had better ride the wave.

In other news, our swiss chard is growing EXTREMELY well and we have been eating its bounty regularly. The lettuce is growing nicely as well and the greek mini basil remains a family favorite as it flourishes to, seemingly, no end. Katherine's 'k'arrot patch is thriving as she thins through some of the smaller ones and has gotten to harvest a couple of fat, short multi-colored carrots. The carnival blend really is something great, so if you have a chance to grow these carrots, I highly recommend it, they are low-maintenence and fun.

Classical music is playing on in the background, which reminds me that Katherine is asking to learn to play the violin. Jay found a lady who does group lessons by the semester and another place that rents violins, so we will have to add it all up and see if we can't get her started on a trial basis. Who knows, she may end up the next world-reknowned violinist, after Elana, of course. Though art is still her true focus and love in life, she will always be partial to some markers and paper, or maybe some paints. I hope to also procure a membership to the Denver Art Museum, but we will have to search the budget for that as well, and Jay wants to see if they offer any discount for disabled veterans. Lots of places seem to offer a discount or even free admission, but it isn't always advertised, so we will have to check it out.

We are on a super tight budget for the next 1.5-2 weeks, so that has meant that I have had the opportunity to rediscover my bike. So, I ride a lot more and a tank of gas in Leafa has lasted much longer. I went big shopping ahead of time knowing we wouldn't get paid for a little while and, Glory to God, it has lasted and run out at just the right times. I only have things like onions and tomato on my list to supplement what we have. Dormition fast starts soon for 2 weeks, so that will simplify our menu a bunch too, but I only hope to have enough money to get some nice fruit to have blessed on Transfiguration after the liturgy.

Well, I had better get on with the day and see about my yellow split pea soup with celery and carrots and say my prayers and have all my ducks in a row before heading out of the door again! Until next time!