Random Tuesday, A Day in the Life...

O Holy hierarch, father John, pray unto God for us!

This morning we gave Barsik (the dog) back to his people, Bill and Alyona, after their trip to San Francisco this past weekend. They brought us a wonderful picture of his relics which now sits atop his icon in 'the quiet room'. I am grateful that they got to go visit St John and visit his many places of service, it is truly a blessing. Glory to God!

Katherine and I were talking after they left, she asked if they got to see St John and I told her yes. She then asked if he was serving while they were there and it occurred to me that being that she is a child, her concept of timing and passing of life is so unreal compared to a grown adult. A particularly good example of our need to be childlike in order that we enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, it is timeless there as is the reality of a child where minutes pass like days and days like hours. If a child is given the opportunity, they will gain a healthy understanding of what death is in reality and have no fear as it is a natural progression in life. Of course, we must also have a proper, even if basic, understanding of death in order that we impart that to our young ones. That being said, I will get back on course...when she asked if St John was serving, I told her yes, that his body is here in his cathedral, but his soul is in Heaven serving with God and with all His saints. She did not even blink at my answer, she does not question that it is true, again, the humbling true acceptance only a child can offer.

After placing the picture in its home above St John's icon, it seemed that prayers were in order and since we have a copy of the Akathist to St John, it was more than perfect. Katherine sat and drew pictures in 'the quiet room' at Papa's desk and piped in with the prayers she knows, which she is more than happy to offer these days. I am grateful to have all that we have, even the things I do not always care for or understand. Reading the prayers is such a wonderful reminder of the beauty of the Saint's life, as it is when reading any Akathist. It evoked memories of reading about St John's life and service. He gave so much of his life to the Church from childhood and, to this day, continues to give. He was rector to many parishes, bringing Truth to many who had forgotten...he is father to many orphaned children, who can never forget his sweet life of prayer and service...while in Shanghai, he would go out into the streets at night to look for babies who had been cast into the garbage cans, yes, this actually happened and, what's more, he actually found them there and would bring them home to the orphanage! He fled from place to place as godless communism ate away different pieces of the world before he eventually came to America where he lived the rest of his days. When he came, he did not want to leave his children, but he could only come alone...at first, but after many petitions to the government and even more prayers, the immigration laws were changed and many were able to come to America and return to their beloved Vladyka. There are so many numerous thing that St John has done, and continues to do regularly, that there is hardly room enough in a book to recount them all, so please forgive me for t he lack of stories I provide!

It befell me that St John was a father to many orphans who, being orphaned, were granted a wonderful mercy of God by being put in the care of our father John. Though being an orphan is a sad state of affairs for many, St John gave so much to these children through all of his service. While they struggled to have enough for the children to eat, he would still bring home more children, believing there would always be enough, because God provides and He always did. He gave them so much more than food for the body, but eternal manna from Heaven through the Divinity of the Church with her essential lessons and a true love for God. What a blessing to have instruction in the faith from a Saint of our Lord! It draws to mind a portion of Psalm 84 (83, septuagint, which is this translation):
10 For one day in thy courts is better than thousands. I would rather be an abject in the house of God, than dwell in the tents of sinners.
11 For the Lord loves mercy and truth: God will give grace and glory: the Lord will not withhold good things from them that walk in innocence.
12 O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusts in thee.
This is how my thoughts wander...it is better to be an orphan in the house of a man of God, who is a Saint among His people and whose life is not of this world, than to live with many riches and find very little of redeeming Grace in a world of godless temptations.

May his presence in our churches, and prayers to God in Heaven, incite us all to live a more fervent life of prayer as we cycle through the fasts and feasts of the liturgical year, creating in us a true oneness through the communion of our plight to God as we strive to follow Christ through the example of the footsteps of one of His chosen as he himself succeeded in following after Christ throughout his life on earth. My hope is that many more people will continue to learn about St John the Wonderworker of Shanghai and San Francisco, a Saint clad in flesh for our sake, to the Glory of God our Father! Holy, Holy, Holy art Thou oh God of our fathers! Lord have mercy and may His peace be with all of you.

Here is an excerpt from one of St John's sermons from 'The Church as the Body of Christ':
"The Church is unity in Christ, the closest union with Christ of all who rightly believe on Him and love Him, and all their union is through Christ.

Now the Church consists of both her earthly and heavenly parts, for the Son of God came to earth and became man that He might lead man into heaven and make him once again a citizen of paradise, returning to him his original condition of sinlessness and wholeness and uniting him unto Himself.

This is accomplished by the action of divine grace granted through the Church, but effort is also required from man himself. God saves His fallen creature by His own love for him, but man's love for his Creator is also necessary and without it salvation is impossible for him. Striving toward God and cleaving unto the Lord by its humble love, the human soul obtains power to cleanse itself from sin and to strengthen itself for the struggle to full victory over sin."

It begins again...

I feel the approach of everything right now. The impending difference between one and the other. The light is changing, the air is cooling, the days are crisp and chill and the last of summer tries to hold onto us through the lovely sunshine which filters through the orange leaves and finds a warm place upon our cheeks, just before the wind picks up to escort it away. My home is far away from here, my love, also, is far. A sigh of relief as things settle in for the cold of winter. Searching, gathering, storing...I have always liked this time of year.

The entirety of my life is overshadowed by all things within the realm of our faith. Seasons do not just come and go, ebb and flow...change. Each new season ushers in the upcoming feast. We are nearing our feast of the Holy Protection of the Theotokos and we will be home in time for it...barely, but thankfully. Everything will be in blue, such a beautiful color throughout. I can almost taste the things which will come afterward. It is so different being an adult during some of these times, the eyes of my daughter offer such an astounding view that would not be afforded if I were not a mother and also I could not see if I were not grown, but I am sure things will be different this year even from last.

I find I do not look forward to the individual main feasts these days, but, rather, the journey leading us there, the anticipation and pathway is much more fulfilling than in the past. Everything is so congruous and is like the ocean. The more I am washed out to sea, the more beautiful the land looks and an ability to stop struggling overwhelms because the knowledge of the tides calms the urge to fight them. This is not to say that the undertow does not have its day and an encompassing feeling of suffocation and helplessness sneaks in as if there could be anything to be done about it all, forgetting all knowledge of Love, Strength and Humility. I am a sinner, I am not perfect, but there is hope...so much hope and Love.

The constant sound of the waves and their rocking will lull me to sleep through the long winter months and keep me. Until next time, peace be with all of you...

She sleeps

We embark upon the Dormition fast. The year is coming to an end, she now sleeps...in September, she will be born and the cycle will begin again. The rise and fall of each liturgical year has a great beauty in its tides. Everything is blue for her, such a bittersweet, lovely change. As the leaves prepare for fall and impending frozen winter, she prepares her womb to bring forth something so magnificent, it is amazing how her simple flesh could contain something so full and perfect! How much love she must have in her human heart and soul to be counted worthy of such grace, humility and obedience. She will have her 40 days, which seems to reflect the 40 weeks we have for our own births. He will be born and there will be a baptism in the waters of the Jordan, a presentation in the temple and we will begin to ready ourselves for great lent. It will consume us again as we walk with her to the tomb and death and into new life. Joy and laughter, food and friends, family and closeness...she will be with us as the whole year changes, but will never fade or falter. Ever-present, ever-loving and forever Mother. Summer will begin again and fly away again and here we will sit again. Same hope, same anticipation, same heart only a Mother can hear and understand. Hearts will be saddened, but then will gain strength, she will be born and it will come again. Peace, contemplation, struggle, love and warmth awaits.

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.
(Luke 1:46-55)

'More honorable than the Cherubim
Beyond compare more glorious than the Seraphim,
Thee, who without corruption gavest birth to God, the word
the very Theotokos, thee do we magnify'

May peace unto all who read this and love abound therewith.

Bike Riding Baby Girl!

Well, after Rowyn and Iona's birthday, Katherine was determined to ride a 2 wheel bike. She already had it down, she was only lacking confidence. Next day, we went to the thrift shop and picked up a tiny bike (like Rowyn's) for under $5 and brought it home for the once over Daddy inspection. Next day after that, we took the dog on our morning walk and Katherine brought her bike. She nearly had it, was riding all by herself, just needed a little more practice. Then, the day after (wed) she was riding away and leaving us in the dust. She has spent nearly every day on her tiny bike and we had made a deal with her early on about the bike situation, sort of incentive to get her riding a 2 wheeler (but nothing says incentive like one of your best friends doing something you don't!!!) Anyway, she rode on her other, bigger bike a little, but went back to the tiny one.

The other day we were on an errand and we decided to pull in to the bike shop to whet her little appetite for a little nudge (can you tell, I am almost more excited than she is at this point?) So, on our way in we noticed a little bike on the 'used' rack. They have a trade in for bikes purchased there to upgrade into the next size up (that is my understanding) and we wandered a bit. She was definitely stimulated and said she would like to try this little bike out front. Not too big, not too small. Well, that was it, she didn't want anything else and agreed that this was the bike for her. We asked Daddy for his 'final word' and went about the business of picking out a shiny new bell and a tiny rear flicker light, yay! So, here it is, and the girl who rides daily:



(Papa added the basket from her other bike, nice touch!)

A Tidbit from my recent reading...

"Before anything else one must believe in God, 'that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him' (Heb. 11:6)

Faith, according to the teaching of St. Antioch, is the beginning of our union with God. One who truly believes is a stone in the temple of God; he is prepared for the edifice of God the Father, raised to the heights by the power of Jesus Christ, that is, of the Cross, with the aid of the ropes, that is, the grace of the Holy Spirit.

'Faith without works is dead' (James 2:26), and the works of faith are: love, peace, long-suffering, mercy, humility, rest from all works (as God rested Himself from His works), bearing of the Cross, and life in the Spirit. Only such faith can be considered true. True faith cannot be without works; one who truly believes will unfailingly have works as well."

-St. Seraphim of Sarov, on Faith, from the Little Russian Philokalia: Spiritual Instruction, pg 25

A Little More...

Well, it was one liturgical year ago on Pentecost, that we found out about Jay's problem's with gluten...in fact, on Ascension just before that, we had a Molebin to pray for answers to his health problems and here we are. Seems funny to me, that year was so long ago. Things are far from where they were and still further from where we are going, but still we truck on. There are so few words to adequately describe the way our lives have changed and become molded in our struggles, but many things have come to pass. It is amazing to me the things we learn and what becomes important when life is more valuable from breath to breath, than anything you could imagine.

Katherine has blossomed as her papa's little girl. They have been learning to have such a wonderful relationship and have so many interests alike. They are really quite a sight, I love them both dearly. She is growing up in ways that make my heart break with love sometimes. She is articulate, funny and just like the both of us, which in turn, becomes her very own person with a whole lot of spunk! She loves art, animals, horses, books, learning to ride her bike (and going on the back of papa's tag along), friends, family and nearly anything you can imagine. She is something else.

Jay has been improving, though we are reminded on occasion how far he still has. I have caught myself getting used him being better, not well, but better than before now. It keeps me on my toes and I can be grateful for that since my tendencies lean me toward lazy and I can appreciate a little nudge ;o) He will start school again in august, God willing, so we barely have these few weeks before that to get him in top shape to give it a go AND spend time together AND try to rest AND keep a routine...you get the picture.

I have been riding my bike more often and that has proven to be a tremendous joy. I enjoy the challenge and am glad to give myself the opportunity to be more active. I am still knitting...so many projects, so much yarn, but so little time. I have often found myself thinking of things that I would like to say, but then hiding them away in my mind or heart until they hatch and establish themselves...In the midst of all of this, I have had many thoughts on life that sometimes I still chew. One of the most resounding things I have been learning to grasp is that no matter what we do, or try to at any rate, can keep us from death, the death of the body, if He so wills it. I know there are many an unbeliever in the world these days, but I wonder where a persons heart and soul is when they are in the 11th hour and death is so near you can almost touch it. I have found where mine is, and has been, when contemplating the mortality of us all in the minutes that peel away the hours....

So, here we are, one liturgical year ago we discovered one problem, for which I am thankful. We have had loads of help, support and prayers, for which we are grateful and now we look toward what will continue to become of us. Until next time, Sprazdnikom, Happy Feast of Pentecost, Congratulations!!!

Blessed art Thou, O Christ our God, Who hast revealed the fishermen as most wise by sending down upon them the Holy Spirit - through them Thou didst draw the world into Thy net. O Lover of Man, glory to Thee!

Grab Bag

I have been wanting to blog lately but haven't been around or had anything in my brain that was trying to seep out into the bloggo-sphere. Anyway, I thought that maybe I would just update on what has been going on around these parts. Here goes!

Jay's health has been improving, he is by no means well yet, but is certainly on the way inn that direction. Still, there are 'good' days and 'bad' days, the good days are great and the bad days are still pretty low, he just gets wiped out. It takes a lot of energy being ill and what little energy he has in the first place is zapped away for the day, sometimes more than one day at a time, if we include recovery. If we look on the bright side, we are miles from where we were months ago, even just weeks ago, so for that, we are grateful.

Katherine is getting SO big anymore, all she wants to do is swim, eat watermelon and grapes, and go on bike rides. Can't say that I blame her. She is becoming quite a little girl, so very animated and deliberate in herself. Tonight there was a thunderstorm and when it is bedtime, the thunderstorms get to be distracting with a bit of uneasy excitement. She ended up in our bed and I laid down with her and turned off the light. We cuddled and talked while the lightening would flash and we'd count until the thunder would come rolling in. I kept thinking to myself how big she is and how I will miss this when she is bigger, but I have it now...

I went to home depot, finally, and got the material to make a large, two-tiered planter for the patio. Went by the garden place and got some good dirt to fill it all up. It is hard to describe, but growing things is far more than just for food or something pretty, there is something there in the co-creation of a living thing. We have LOTS of things in different places planted and we are just waiting for them to pop out and say hello. I am particularly interested in the basil, we planted two different kinds, a flat-leaf italian one (I think) and a greek mini bush basil. MMMMmmm, basil! Katherine is old enough now that she may get the concept to not eat all the herbs before we can make something with them...but even if not, at least she is enjoying the little patio garden. In the newly built planter we gave her a small section to plant her own carrots. She chose the 'carnival' blend and so they are supposed to be different colors of the rainbow. I will never forget when she had a carrot that was purple (I think, or so purple it looked black) and she said, with a hint of disappointment, "It just tastes like a regular carrot!" I hope her crop is bountiful, it is a good experience for her. When we have pictures, I will try to remember to post them.

I am feeling industrious lately, trying to get a good handle on things around these parts. The nice weather helps because I try to set times to get things done and then go enjoy the rest of the day with the little family. While I am more industrious in those areas, I have been particularly unmotivated in the knitting arena...I need a project that has a deadline, I think. So many things to knit, but nowhere to start...or something like that. Maybe I will think of something to make for Jay for his birthday, that gives me a month, just over. Maybe some nice wooly socks for when the weather cools, or for camping or something...hmm, perhaps....

Anyway, I think I ought to be off to bed here soon, Katherine and I might get to go to coffee tomorrow for a long overdue mother's day treat. Maybe we'll ride bikes...in any case, I am off to bed! Good night to all...'For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. Psalm 91:11'