Friday, October 2, 2009

It begins again...

I feel the approach of everything right now. The impending difference between one and the other. The light is changing, the air is cooling, the days are crisp and chill and the last of summer tries to hold onto us through the lovely sunshine which filters through the orange leaves and finds a warm place upon our cheeks, just before the wind picks up to escort it away. My home is far away from here, my love, also, is far. A sigh of relief as things settle in for the cold of winter. Searching, gathering, storing...I have always liked this time of year.

The entirety of my life is overshadowed by all things within the realm of our faith. Seasons do not just come and go, ebb and flow...change. Each new season ushers in the upcoming feast. We are nearing our feast of the Holy Protection of the Theotokos and we will be home in time for it...barely, but thankfully. Everything will be in blue, such a beautiful color throughout. I can almost taste the things which will come afterward. It is so different being an adult during some of these times, the eyes of my daughter offer such an astounding view that would not be afforded if I were not a mother and also I could not see if I were not grown, but I am sure things will be different this year even from last.

I find I do not look forward to the individual main feasts these days, but, rather, the journey leading us there, the anticipation and pathway is much more fulfilling than in the past. Everything is so congruous and is like the ocean. The more I am washed out to sea, the more beautiful the land looks and an ability to stop struggling overwhelms because the knowledge of the tides calms the urge to fight them. This is not to say that the undertow does not have its day and an encompassing feeling of suffocation and helplessness sneaks in as if there could be anything to be done about it all, forgetting all knowledge of Love, Strength and Humility. I am a sinner, I am not perfect, but there is much hope and Love.

The constant sound of the waves and their rocking will lull me to sleep through the long winter months and keep me. Until next time, peace be with all of you...