Sunday, April 12, 2009

THe Baptism of Pelagia, a God-mother's account and musing

Everything is sort of a blur, and I am here sitting and thinking about my God-motherhood. I remember being spurred on to say the trisagion prayers for the churching and then bundling the little darling in a blanket to begin the prayers and baptism. I held her there as Katherine wandered over next to me, meeting this task and adventure with a family, not just a 'mother', to represent. A few little whispers and kisses, prayer after prayer and confession of faith, a little to be unwrapped and be immersed into the tomb of Christ thrice. Out she came, so soft and warm. Getting dressed was not welcome at first, but she gave in after a minute. More prayers and a procession around the church, a little more of this and that, then it is over. WHOOSH, and so it begins, a life in Christ.

I awoke this morning in anticipation of taking her to her first communion and being able to commune myself, God help us get there in a reasonable time so I can sing, Palm Sunday is not a day to get lost in the crowds if a person can help it! Well, enough on that...Fr Boris came out to finish 'churching' just before communion, the servant of God, Pelagia...tiny and angelic in her little white gown and bonnet. Her stiff arms outstretched as if reaching for God. As she was lifted up, "in the name of the Father" and her small crown of white bonnet is the top of the sign of the cross, I imagine to myself she is being lifted up to God the Father, in Heaven..."and of the Son," her feet dip down and make the bottom of the sign of the cross and I think of how Christ came down, into this earthly world to save us..."and of the Holy Spirit, Amen." Her bitty reaching arms and hands go side to side to complete the sign of the cross and I envision between God the Father at the top and God the Son at the bottom and then God the Holy Spirit which is everywhere and fillest all things in between. I cannot truly describe it all, but she was like a little angel and so darling. She was first to commune as per tradition and partially woke to receive and get back to sleep, no fuss.

She is my fourth God-child and they are all girls (maybe God is trying to tell me something). I have more children through God's Grace than my own will, and I am grateful, even if 80% are spiritual daughters. If I could not have anymore just yet, or even ever, I will always have my girls. I love them all dearly and each has a special place in my heart. I find this task bittersweet, a challenge and a blessing, a sort of podvig. One of the greatest benefits, I think, is learning how to truly pray, for that is what I think will come of it all. They are not of my blood, it seems easier to pray for those of my own line, but they are a part of me and so the greatest gift I hope to offer for each of them is a heart of a mother that is offered to God in prayers of love and hope. If prayer is love and vice versa, perhaps I will stumble upon that as well. I have learned a lot from being mother to Katherine and I have the opportunity to use some of what I have learned to give to my other girls. So, to Sara and Elena, Talia and, now, Pelagia, I love you all dearly and hope to live up to the expectation of my duty, Kuma is so happy to be a part of your lives, hugs and kisses always...May God bless you all the days of your lives.