Monday, January 21, 2008


When I was small, love was what she gave me
Love was something that came and never went
No matter what I did, she would always love me
Nights of popcorn and movies
Kisses and hugs, all kinds of love

I got a little older and I started to grow
Harder and without heed
Her love would never leave me, but I would run from it
Love became a broken heart
In a young girl grateful for the lesson
Aching from the breaking

I grew further along the path of myself
As far as I could get to being me
Where would I end up
Love became a sort of carefree thing
Love all, forget the rest

People came, people went
I stayed with me
Not much else to do
Just live

He came along and wanted me
He walked up with a heart in his eyes
The same broken light in my own
Together we became whole
So much love
To have
To learn
To give

We had a baby girl
Who knew the love I could have inside
Like my heart was outside of me
Love was a new place

We have grown together
We have cried together
We have loved together
Love is a great place

Now I have been a mom for awhile
I look in the mirror
I see her there
For all she has given me
The love that never left and kept me through the years
I am a compilation of years of women
Generations moved by love
I am her
I am her mother
I am more than me

I understand her now
I am her now
I love her more than ever
Love is something I have

She can never leave me
Nothing can ever part us
We are the same

She is the love I have to give
The love that lives here
The love that grows

She is the arms I have to hold
My own heart and Hers
My little girl asleep

She is the eyes I use to see
The love, the life, the world
What I have, who I am

She never knew what she had to give
She is my mother
She is my sister
She is my daughter
She is me

Saturday, January 5, 2008

the mountain

Well, here I sit...thinking, wandering through thought and space. I am not sure where to start. It is nearly the Nativity of Christ (O.S.) and I am feeling a little bit of relief and a bit of joy as would be brought by such an occasion. The birth of Talia Noelle (friends' baby) has sparked a new light in my heart, in general and for the season. I love Creation. I love the work of God's hand! I remember when I became a mommy and I go back to that place in time that I still love and will never forget. To become a mother is a simply wonderful, fulfilling experience. I get to be a mommy every day of my life, for eternity, I will never not be a mom. I still love it and someday I will look back and think of these moments as I already do of those all those years ago. Probably you are thinking, "Where on God's green earth is this going? Are we just talking about how much we love babies and motherhood...?" Well, i don't suppose I have a real point, but it is indescribable to be a parent...
At times, I think that since I am too distracted to live my life perfectly in struggle, focused on God, I am given such beautiful sidetracks as motherhood and marriage. Thank God for His mercy! If I had to choose my distractions (to learn my lessons), they would be as lovely as these! So long as I learn to see the plank in my own eye, learn to love as sweetly as my daughter, learn to be loved as my husband tries to love me each day and take for granted nothing, perhaps I may succeed in this struggle that is life. There is no race to win, only love and compassion to be had. We should rejoice, the birth of Christ is at hand! Sometimes I think people don't really get it...and sometimes, I think I don't really get it! I try, perhaps that is enough for God...for now. I am grateful for the Grace of learning, I am more than grateful for the Grace of Love and understanding. I am beginning to understanding real love. It is like being at the bottom of a mountain and looking up...the feat, is that I can actually see the mountain and it is not blurry. I can see the beauty from this point and now I wish to climb it. Now, for the lifelong task of climbing the mountain and finding more wholeness in the perfection that is Love. With God's help, I can do all things. Even if I never reach the top, I expect the view is spectacular...