Friday, February 13, 2009

Random Clarity

This morning I walked out the door with my knitting tote, off to my first sit and knit with a group of ladies who knit/crochet for charitable causes at the library for 2 hours...well, I was running late, more like 1.5 today. As I left, I rounded our corner and Katherine had run to tap on the window for one last air kiss, wave and smile. At that moment I imagined to myself, her, years from now writing that book I have never gotten around to writing. I imagined the narrative as this, "My mother was always knitting something, or going somewhere to knit with other knitter's..." Then, it struck me! those sorts of books don't really get written any more...which then inspired this thought:

We are losing our craft. (I know, bear with me).

Knitting and other things of the like are on the list (yes, they actually made a list) of things that are stress relief. We have all kinds of people who depend on substances, anti-depressants, drugs, other people, t.v., and so on to take us out of this world into a plane of numbness and oppression. We are oppressing ourselves with our own self-medicating, whether substance or technological or career.

You may say..."What in the world is she talking about?!?!?!" I will tell you...if we spent more time WITH each other instead of apart so much to have the things we want but never get to actually HAVE each other; if we would spent more time creating with our gifts and talents those things which help us to grow and cope and most importantly, love, instead of working so hard to keep what we never really had in the first place; if we really paid attention to what was going our lives, in our families, in our hearts, might we not discover the world for which we have been searching? Might we not find that which we seek and then some?

The more we look, are we not let down for want of searching for something that has already been known from eternity? I think the hardest thing for any of us to ever learn to do is to let go, simple as that. Let go of the falsehoods and follow Truth; let go of insecurities and allow love in; let go of ourselves and let our neighbor be important; let go of our pain and let the tears baptise and cleanse us into newness; let go of pride and let ourselves to feel, to learn; let go of who we think we are and

What does all this have to do with knitting, you say? This is what this means to me...when I knit, my hands are not idle, I am creating, for once in this world, I can really create something useful over and over again. If I can do nothing of use to the Glory of God but this, I knit. I knit to try to be more humble and selfless. I knit to learn discipline and patience. I knit to finish what I have started, even if it drives me nuts. I knit to persevere and struggle. I can only hope that the intention behind it all will somehow take root in my daughter, sweet as she is and find her craft that can bring her virtues for which to struggle to attain. All this from a craft.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Reflections of a Humble Heart

A selection from the book that I have read, but can't seem to stop thinking about. =)

"Indeed, the devil dealt the human race a terrible blow. And we? we did not even resist, and we lost paradise, and joy, and immortality. Without a fight we ceded to the enemy all of our fortresses. But in war it is not the first battle that determines the outcome. Has it not happened frequently in history that nations and great armies have suffered defeats and losses, and have remained without military equipment, have retreated, and, in general, have endured deprivation, suffering, losses, and dishonor? Nevertheless, experienced generals did not allow themselves to despair but continued the war and, in spite of all the defeats they had previously suffered, they suddenly dealt the enemy a decisive blow and ultimately emerged victorious.

So, too, brother, do not doubt your victory. If you continue the struggle and do not throw down your weapons and run off the field of battle, but rather, regardless of all your previous defeats, if you hold fast the shield of faith, and keep your helmet of salvation on your head and do not let go of the sword of the spirit, i.e., the word of God (Eph. 6:16-17), then you will gain the victory and the trophy will be yours. There is Someone who will be fighting alongside you, and, if you really want to know, He has already conquered your enemy--who is also His enemy. God Himself is with you; He is your Countryman, your Defender, your--all. With His name, with hope in Him and with love towards Him, go and fight. If you get wounded, that is, if you sin in one way or another--inasmuch as the fight is not an easy one and the enemy is skilled at delivering blows--do not despond, because for a Christian no wound can be mortal. Come to the frontline hospital, i.e., to the Church, and here repent of your sins and weaknesses, and your wounds will straightway be healed. The arrow of sin that wounded you is taken out and already the wound is no more. Go then back into battle with the enemy. See here, the enemy has struck your sword from your hand; that is to say, he has thrown you into a state of spiritual weakness through misfortunes, griefs and anxieties, which have disarmed you, as it were. Bow down humbly before the will of God, bend down and pick up your arms, reproach yourself for your faintheartedness and repel the enemy's attack. If you act in this way, you will emerge victorious, and as victor, you will be crowned.

O Christian, you are a soldier of Christ in this life and you are called not to a peaceful and ordinary, tranquil existence, but to war, to a fierce war. If you are victorious in this war, you will enjoy peace, honor, and happiness in the age to come."

Let us not forget with whom we are fighting, where our anger should lie, and the focus and purpose of our struggles as Christians here on earth. Our anger only for the evil one and how easily he distracts us and at ourselves for so simply being shown falsehood as reality...our fight, against him that is the deceiver who continues to lead us falsely through our own weaknesses...our love, for all that is Him and from Him, let us fight to keep the love that we learn and emulate in His name...

Peace be unto you...