Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Sunshine and Rest

A bit of respite today, as we took a walk after breakfast. The weather is so comely, we have been out to enjoy since after the walk. The dishes are waiting for me, the vacuuming and putting away of laundry, too, but I could not help but take advantage of such a momentous afternoon!

The birds have all been bustling about and squirrels run to and fro, while preparing for spring to be in full bloom. It reminds me that it is not when something is in full swing, but the journey to prepare for it, which creates occasion to properly welcome such beauties and richness of life. We venture forward, though we are slowing giving farewell to Spring's cousin, the Winter, as we walk to meet the flowers, rain, and evenness of delightful weather and precursor to Summer.

Sitting in the sunshine out here in the grass imagining the projects to come, I dream of what a little grooming will bring and how we will attract as many lovely things as possible with our planting, but also must protect it from creatures. The trickle and burble of the creek, coupled with breezes, sunshine, girly giggles, and bird calls, I have seen a new peace and perfection in that rugged beauty that is life.

I wrote this on friday, we have since had SNOW again! :)

Sunday, February 10, 2013

My Friends the Birds

In Colorado, my bird was the red-winged blackbird, who still hold a special place in my heart. They keep a particular piece of my life that is steeped in fathoms of contemplation, personal and family struggles mixed with change, and a profound seriousness. These birds came when I needed to remember the beauty and playfulness in life, but also to keep me steady in the moment or day at hand. A glimpse of childlike spirit coupled with the ebb and flow of life's great mystery of change and sameness all at once.

They are still here, though they have not found themselves necessary in the same capacity and so have become somewhat dormant. It appears that the bald eagle has made itself known as the newest bird in my journey through this life, so I looked up any symbolism relating to them. I am of the opinion that God is always finding ways for us to hear Him, through ways we will best listen, and for me, they are the trees and birds, in much of His rugged Creation. As it I would see, the bald eagle is seen by the Native Americans as a communicator between the Creator and Created, carrying prayers to and fro. What a comfort! The first appeared on a day when I needed some small affirmation, anything really, to give ease to some things coming up that had yet to be revealed, but on the horizon just the same. When they come, the idea is that your prayers are being heard and communicated, but also that everything will be okay.

I have now seen a number of them at any given time where my heart is yearning and feeling heavy and torn, or simply distanced from the very spirituality I have come to breathe in and out, but feels lacking. Today I was telling someone of these things after church and it was a nice discussion before heading off to where I am currently: coffee all by myself! As I walked along the street passing memory after haunting memory of people and places, I approached the intersection (which I am sure can be take both literally and figuratively) where a great many birds were chattering. Amidst the clamor of all their voices, I could hear the red-winged blackbird saying hello. I could not yet see with my eyes, but trusted in my heart that they were there. I saw them as I came upon them and my heart was glad. Nothing flies like and eagle, or sings like a red-winged blackbird.

Glory to God for all things!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

A Great Many Things

I have been giving a lot of thought to a great deal of things lately, but certain things especially have caught my mind in a way that have their own particular importance. Firstly, I have been thinking an awful lot about this move. It has occurred to me recently that we have finally surfaced in our journey westward and found some semblance of normalcy. One might imagine it not taking 6 months to have something like this come about, but when we factor in the reinventing our home after leaving a great deal behind and finding a way to incorporate trips to town to balance life on the farm, it is more than many may consider in a move.

So, we are here. I mean, we are really here now. We have rhythm, which we have yet to hone, but that will come in time. We are finding our niches here in the mountains and home, with each person's talent and penchant being all the more useful because we are supplementing one another, but also because each person is unique at any given time in life. For example, Kat is extremely interested in the creatures and I am sure she will master the art of creature keeping before too many months have passed, then she will move on to other farm adventures that strike her fancy. Jay is immensely helpful in all things out of doors and that require manual labor, though I may be apt to help from time to time. I do many indoor chores making sure that we have dishes to eat the food I make, but Kat has also tasted the sweetness of preparing food for the family with the satisfaction and accomplishment she feels when she has completed the task.

It is for certain that when necessity makes itself known, there is a way to either overcome it, or work around it; if it is necessary enough, you will find a way, but if it is not, it may simply fall by the wayside and you may wonder why you ever thought you needed it. There is something that awakens the generations of ancestors past when we have a hand in each piece of our livelihood. We are eating the goods we canned, many of which were hand-picked by us last summer, though all were hand prepared and sustaining us now. We are also trying ourselves at making a number of other homemade items, like kraut. It is good for the body to have naturally cultured kraut in so many ways, it leaves me wondering how I ever could have lived without it!

Goodness, I am nearly off on a tangent, as I am prone to wandering amongst! Ok, so all of that is most important, but I want to touch on the part where I mentioned giving things up way, way up in the first paragraph. Even at the very last minute, though we had already given as much as we thought was necessary, with the prospect of having plenty to supplement upon our arrival, we were faced with having to rid ourselves of even that. We were intending to have a much larger trailer than we ended up fitting behind the car, because the rental company said we should be fine with the larger of the two; this was not the case. Half-loaded, we realized we would have to get the smaller trailer and it also meant we had to decrease our belongings by HALF! Yes, we did. Many items went to dear friends and neighbors, as they helped load us up, but plenty went to donation as well. When push came to shove, I looked at the boxes and items sitting about, as Jay went to return one trailer for another, and all I could think about was that the only things we needed were to be able to eat, clothes to wear, Kat's things (she had done SO well in getting rid of a great deal), and our church books, icons, etc. This is what showed up with us, while nearly everything else stayed behind to be dealt with by friends.

This brings me to the next subject of my thoughts: friends. Such an invaluable source of comfort in time of need, an ear when we are either struggling or triumphant, someone to share all things with, no matter what. God gives us each person in our lives for many reasons, many times to learn the truth about life and love, but our friends are especially significant, we also choose one another. They are ourselves without knowing; a mirror of love, life, reflection, joy, peace, heartache, pain, perfection, simplicity, and yearning. We find each other on this path in life where we seek solace and understanding, through smiles and tears. They are someone who sees and hears what we hope another can glean from our own hearts and listens intently as we wind our way through these roads where life can take us. Without friends, this life would be bleak and our relationships would be so lacking and unfulfilling, but it is not true. When we pursue peace, love, happiness, and truth, and our hearts long for respite in this world, we often find a true friend where we least expect it.

It is this time in my life when I am capable of seeing the indescribable beauty and mercy in those whom God has seen fit to outfit us in this life. The love, generosity, thoughtfulness, and challenge our friends have offered is so great, I am at risk of being overwhelmed by these amazing people. Tears of joy and gratefulness have often threatened to burst through my daily countenance and makes themselves known, and on occasion they have, but we have more than enough to occupy us, it is rare I can truly take in all the wonders that are our friends. I have often thought that it is better we make our family our friends and friends our family, so that where the two meet it is indistinguishable. There is no tie that binds more strongly than that of love and understanding, which sets its feet in with one and takes ahold with the other. Therein lies the mercy and love of God, in our relationships that are given, created, and oftentimes challenged, we grow together to learn of greatness and wonder at perfection.

Thank you to all who have offered patience, love, and understanding through many transitions in life, where they are always prevalent. We have an abundance for which to be truly and utterly grateful in a world of confusion and despair, we have all of you. Growth in love and peace is my greatest desire for all of you, to be so incredibly blessed as we are.