Monday, June 16, 2014


There is this place I go

Green, quiet, and alone
I see my thoughts
Hear my heart
Peel away the dizzy
Silence is thick 
I touch the beauty
It hurts and heals
I believe
I stand bare and real
No one knows
This place I go

There is this place I go
Walking in twilight
Heavy steps dragging
Onward to the water
Peering in at me
I remember
Reflections and refractions
Begin to settle 
Disturbed only by my tears
Sitting quietly
In this place I go


There is an awful sort of lingering

One that drifts in and out
Like waves of the sea,
The tides creep ever closer to shore
Knowing they must also draw away
But ebb and flow, they must
Just as from the beginning
I long for more metered beats of life
Fewer open spaces pausing me in thought
When this becomes what is
Instead of suspended newness
Like a breathless moment
These days offer solace and sadness
Filled with hope and love
While clinging to heartstrings
Tugging with intensity
From time to time
Sometimes not at all
Only for a thought
Before it returns to this head
This heart that is magnified in aching
Take hold this hand
Guide these feet
Make steady my resolve
As I continue on this path
Of love.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Memory Eternal

This is a repost from 12/10/10, but very appropriate right now. Dad fell asleep in The Lord saturday morning, the day all of the Orthodox faithful worldwide are praying for the dearly departed, and he was buried yesterday in Platina.

God Keep You Now and Always

I am given to thoughts of life
Thoughts of precious, wasted moments
Fleeting perfected love and simplicity
My heart is broken
Though, as if it never knew how to love
Until this time when you may leave
We are all going to lose this gift
This life of what we know
But the tears cannot quiet
The disruption inside my soul
This thrashing in seclusion
Find me weeping, see me standing
Barely keeping a single thought long
Torn in pieces
But only beginning to understand
Only now can I know the enigma that is whole
Yet there is no solace anywhere tangible
The pulling at my heart consumes each breath
Is in each step and utterance
I see your face and long to always
Your presence never meant more
Why, I do not know
A solemn and jagged peace is lingering
As if to comfort and calm
How will I ever let you go?
How could I ask you to stay?
Be at peace and know that no matter
We shall remain and carry on
This life can never be the same
Though we can hardly ever be apart 
Oh, that I could have been the daughter I ought have
Oh, that I could breath in the moments of waste
Breathing out only that which profits us both
Ah, but we cannot regret 
That which makes us who we become
Without those many lessons
I might have not made it here

I know how to love
Because of you
I know how to give
Because of you
I know who I am
Because of you
I am a daughter given to be a wife
Because of you
I am strong and fearless
Because of you
I am loving, compassionate and open
Because of you

Our hearts come from the same seed
From the beginning of time
The line runs deep and vast
It draws us into nearness and love
A kindred understanding of life
A common hope and purpose
Intertwined in this dancing prism of life
Forever and for always, my papa you will be
Know that I am where you are perpetually
For you are here and may not know it
Your life and memory will live on
In our hearts, without fail
May the God of all bless you
The Most Holy Theotokos stay by your side
Your guardian angel guide you
St. Seraphim comfort and guard you
May all the saints, known and unknown
Pray unto God for the salvation and purification of your soul
That you be without blemish when He comes
None can keep you from Him
Though why should we wish to do so
May enlightenment be upon you
Understanding, peace and love
Constantly keeping you 

May God keep those of us that must stay
That it be to the glory of God
Forever and ever, Amen