Friday, September 30, 2011

Kenosha Pass Hiking Pics

Kenosha Pass, CO. A beautiful and perfect day in the Rocky Mountains!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

In All Things

Do you ever just have those moments when you are stopped in the tracks of your day and things don't seem so hard anymore? I just had one. For all of my complaining in struggles, I really ought to be sure to search out and state what the silver lining is, because there always is one, like in my favorite Psalm 27, 'The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is my strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid.'

In nearly all my years, I have not lost someone close to me. There have been people that I have known who have died, but they were more acquaintances, so the attachment is different when it isn't someone with whom you have woven a bond made from heart strings, smiles and words in all necessity. I was small when my grandpa died and wasn't even born when my dad's dad passed on, so I still have both grandma's, as well as, mom and dad, aunts and uncles, brother, sisters, cousins, friends, etc. Glory to God!

The closest I have gotten was to be there through a good friend's second pregnancy knowing, from part way in, there was no way he'd survive past birth. If my heart breaks just a fraction of what it did when I hugged my friend at the memorial, or saw the pictures of them together as a family, or every time I think of and tell their story, or when the white doves flew at the March of Dimes for all the babies with birth defects who couldn't be with us today, I am sure to find a new meaning in God, as times like that can only further the internal search of life, love and family.

Each life is beautiful. We are blessed to be here together, even with the ones we'd rather not be, and we ought to be grateful for every single time we open our eyes each day, for those things filled therein, every breath we take to sustain the very beat of the heart. We are, none of us perfect, but we cannot teach love through hate and animosity, so no matter what we think or feel, if we are not overrun in love, how can there be any peace and joy? If we can be so attached to ourselves in our fallen and broken nature, we can certainly strive to envelope the entire human race in our hearts, just as we keep ourselves, and as Christ commands, we begin with our neighbor. Our own troubles do not outweigh our brothers, but our pride and selfishness would have us believe it does. Our love can only multiply and uncover compassion, forgiveness and understanding; who among us would willingly shun these gifts?

Life is precious and we have so little earthly time to become united, must we be so blinded by our daily woes, that we cannot see the simplest perfections in struggling together? Take a moment to reflect on how bad things really are; remember the orphan and widow, poor and destitute, those captured and imprisoned unjustly, those who have lost a spouse, parent or child, those with terminal illness, disability or physical pain daily. Some of us live with these things, others know someone, and there is hardly a life not touched by one of these afflictions, but if we all take one small step at a time toward healing ourselves with and through one another and crush dissension, just imagine what could be.

Some would call me a dreamer, but this is the mixing of my head and my heart; it always has been and I doubt things will change. In all things, God's will be done.

It's Only Tuesday

So, I can't wait for this week to be over, and it's only tuesday afternoon!!! We are out of the house for the better part of each day and I am so tired. It is quite convenient that friday marks the last day of september and saturday will be october 1st! This week we have had a doctor's appointment for Jay, vigil and liturgy, and will have dance and kung fu for Kat, Tai Ji for me, a friends' in the mountains, Berry Patch Farms (which also assumes canning will follow, another appointment for Jay with Voc. Rehab., and Lair o' the Bear, because we are in the neighborhood. I think my head may stop spinning mid-october, but I am not making any promises.

That all being said, I can officially say that, in october, things will slow down. The biggest piece in that puzzle is sticking to it and not over scheduling us. The things I have to happily reconcile with each week are: Church, Kat's schooling, Kung Fu and dance, Tai Ji, and Kat and papa's date night, because they MUST have one, or else I will never hear the end of it! So, on top of that, there is the daily routine that involves Bible reading, the Psalter and saint of the day, basic chores, family time, and so on. All the while, saving money to make a trip to Cali. Whew! Man, I thought this week was looking busy, but I think the older she gets, my tiredness will grow in proportion to her activities and social life! If she wasn't an only, I wouldn't be so concerned about her having some time with kids her own age, but it doesn't always fit in the way we would hope.

Well, that is the 6 weeks of our lives, starting next week. Good grief! The goal in all this time is to be frugal, focused and quiet. Can we do it?!?! If we buckle down and tune out the sound of the world, it just may happen. It would be SO nice to get out of town and spend some time in sunny California, but I refuse to overbook us when we are there! Last time seemed to work out really well, as far as timing and seeing people, but I still didn't get to see my Goddaughter in AZ on the way home because I got sick. I would actually like to plan a special trip, just to see them sometime, so they aren't just a flyby, as it were. In any case, last time we saw the West family, in their home and at the beach, which was great and we hope to see them again. We also got to visit with Jay's cousin and her family in San Diego and it was totally worth the trip, but it seem so short, although I am not sure any of us would find a good stopping point in talking, unless we had oodles of time. We spent a couple afternoons with Nicole and Sophia at the beach, which was super relaxing and much needed. Seeing my grandma was great, as always, she loves having Jay around to do 'man' stuff. He is really handy and can fix a lot, not to mention, he cooks and cleans, so she thinks he is wonderful.

Please keep us in your prayers as we embark on the journey of the next 6-7 weeks, I am trying to avoid burnout and hope to attain some hapy medium, where everyone gets what they need and a little bit of what they want. Talk to y'all soon!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Psalms of the Church

I go through phases, it seems, of appreciating the Psalms. I would say that I always appreciate them, in a sense, but there are particular times when I am really drawn in by a specific one, for its words, purpose or whatever it is offering at that time. Tonight, during the reading of the six psalms during the vigil, I heard Psalm 142 (septuagint) almost as if I had heard it for the first time in its entirety. The phrasing and words grabbed me and it transported me to a place with momentary clarity and peace. Here it is:

"Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear unto my supplication in Thy truth; hearken unto me in Thy righteousness.

And enter not into judgment with Thy servant; for in Thy sight shall no man living be justified.

For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath brought my life down to the ground.

He hath sat me in darkness, as those that have been long dead; and my spirit is faint within me, my heart within me is troubled.

I remembered the days of old, I meditated on all Thy works, I mused on the works of Thy hands.

I stretched forth my hands unto Thee; my soul thirsteth after Thee as a thirsty land.

Hear me speedily, O Lord; my spirit waxeth faint.

Turn not away Thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear Thy mercy in the morning, for in Thee do I hope.

Cause me to know, O Lord, the way wherein I should walk, for I lifted up my soul unto Thee.

Rescue me, O Lord, from mine enemies; have I fled unto Thee for refuge. Teach me to do Thy will, for Thou art my God.

Thy good Spirit shall lead me into the land of uprightness; quicken me, O Lord, for Thy name’s sake.

In Thy righteousness Thou shalt bring my soul out of trouble, and in Thy mercy Thou shalt destroy my enemies.

And Thou shalt destroy all them that afflict my soul, for I am Thy servant."

These Psalms are so very human and that is part of why I like them. They are so grounded in humanity, but focused on Divinity. They have managed to be a solid part of the Old Testament, but are extremely relevant to the New Testament as well. We use them in prayer, both at home and in services. They are Scripture, but they are so relatable that they offer comfort in all times of life; in triumph and despair.

The point of this post is that when I heard this psalm, I heard the person, the you and me, every one of us. The core of each of us, because who hasn't felt this way at some time, who hasn't thought these things, wholly, or in part? The psalms are a beautiful reflection of the plight of each of us and a testament to the Divinity and workings of God. I love them. Do you have a favorite? One of my favorites is this Psalm 27(26 septuagint):

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.

Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."

V.A. and the Holy Cross, All in a Day

Ah, the V.A.! Oh how I loathe that hospital; where doctors are pharmacists and government medicine reigns. I kept my mouth good and shut this visit, because it is apparent to me how the western medicinal practices focus on the management of symptoms, rather than dealing with, and healing, what has gotten altered. Also, I kept my mouth shut because Jay asked me to let him do his thing because he has to jump through all of the hoops to get to the departments for any possible useful treatment. *SIGH*

I actually feel kinda bad for them, because they don't know what it is they aren't being taught; that their practice is only half-hatched. That is why I like holistic doctors best, where east meets west, it is like having a two-parent household, whereas one or the other is more of a single parent shindig. Two is good, offering more balance, like two legs. You get my drift.

We got a parking space up front this time, on a monday of all days!!! That was helpful in getting us up there to sit around and wait some more until someone calls you up for vitals, then go wait some more until the Doc is ready for you. However, Jay's doctor is very nice and he does try, I mean, at least he isn't a stodgy old boy, who thinks new fangled things are just that. He does care, though his job outside the V.A. is as an OB/GYN, LOL! That is funny to me somehow.

It does, however, prompt me to be more diligent in getting our dietary needs battened down. Though it is hard to stick with things all the time, it gets tiresome, but most things worth having require attention to detail and vigilance. Oh, so tired sometimes...

Well, we are on the forefeast of the Exaltation of the Universal, Holy and Life-giving Cross, so we will be getting ready for vigil in a little while. It is a wonderful feast and I always look forward to when we sing, "Before Thy cross, we bow down in worship, O Master, and Thy Holy Resurrection, we glorify!" Alternating it 3 times total in Slavonic and English.

this is the write up on : "† The Universal Exaltation of the Precious and Life-giving Cross
"Saint Helen, the mother of Saint Constantine the Great, when she was already advanced in years, undertook, in her great piety, the hardships of a journey to Jerusalem in search of the Cross, about the year 325. A temple to Aphrodite had been raised up by the Emperor Hadrian upon Golgotha, to defile and cover with oblivion the place where the saving Passion had been suffered. The venerable Helen had the statue of Aphrodite destroyed, and the earth removed, revealing the Tomb of our Lord, and three crosses. Of these, it was believed that one must be that of our Lord, the other two of the thieves crucified with Him; but Saint Helen was at a loss which one might be the Wood of our salvation. At the inspiration of Saint Macarius, Archbishop of Jerusalem, a lady of Jerusalem, who was already at the point of death from a certain disease, was brought to touch the crosses, and as soon as she came near to the Cross of our Lord, she was made perfectly whole. Consequently, the precious Cross was lifed on high by Archbishop Macarius of Jerusalem; as he stood on the ambo, and when the people beheld it, they cried out, "Lord, have mercy." It should be noted that after its discovery, a portion of the venerable Cross was taken to Constantinople as a blessing. The rest was left in Jerusalem in the magnificent church built by Saint Helen, until the year 614. At that time, the Persians plundered Palestine and took the Cross to their own country (See Jan. 22, Saint Anastasius the Persian). Later, in the year 628, Emperor Heraclius set out on a military campaign, retrieved the Cross, and after bringing it to Constantinople, himself escorted it back to Jerusalem, where he restored it to its place." (Great Horologion) A fast is kept today, whatever the day of the week."

Well, I had better get on top of some things today, because they won't get themselves done! Later!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

New Template, Yay!

So, if you haven't already noticed, I have been messing around with my blog template. It is the first time in years! Let me know what you think, I kinda like it.

I will blog about other stuff later, maybe the things going on this week, but we will see. Until then, have a great week!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Right now

Outside my window...

The sound of birds singing in the evening twilight with alight breeze gently moving the bamboo chimes.

I am thinking...

About my family and how productive today was, but I am tired.

I am thankful for...

My husband, of 9 years, this past thursday
A beautiful daughter who is growing into a solid young girl
A place to call home
Good friends
Video chat, so I can see my family out west (and even knit with my mom online!)
Food to eat
Mild weather
A caring church family

From the learning rooms...

Hmm, Katherine is into dinosaurs a lot; Jay is into reading a lot more, when his eyes can manage; I am harnessing my ability to follow directions in a cookbook and be more organized around the house.

From the kitchen...

It is CLEAN! I scrubbed the kitchen today, so that makes it extra special. As for food, we have borrowed a new cookbook and really like it so much. We made a really tasty soup puree, as per Kat's request, that has things like parsnips, potatoes, white beans, scallions, garlic, shallots, tarragon, dill, etc. and it is a family favorite that is very warm and filling. We also plan to make some kale chips soon and tomorrow night, Jay has chosen to have mushroom topped/stuffed baked potatoes that are made with sauteed onion, bell pepper and mushroom-YUM!!

I am creating...

My dad's sweater, my vest (if I ever finish that thing!), A tea cosy for Columbina, a dress to be sewn for Kat and I think that is all that is on the needles or table.

I am going...

To take it easy and practice my long-suffering through patience and being in the moment with my family more.

I am reading...

That book about St. Maria Skobtsova of Paris, Pearl of Great Price
A book of poetry from the library by Thoreau
Knitting patterns :o)

I am hoping and praying...

That we get enough rest until the holidays hit and afterward
That the VA is favorable and quick with Jay's added disability request for extended coverage
That we get some rest tonight and have a fresh day tomorrow, for a relaxing sunday

I am hearing...

Canadian Geese, an airplane and my little family talking.

Around the house...

There are still things that need to be worked on, but things are neat enough for a sunday afternoon.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

Oh boy!!! Two appointments for Jay, services for the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, friends, Berry Patch Farms, canning, Lair o' the Bear, Costco....Um, I think that covers it. At least it starts AFTER tomorrow!

Here are some picture thoughts I am sharing...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

9 years ago...well, close enough

Well, nine years have past, as of midnight, and we have been married that entire time. In our short married life, we have had a baby girl, been through a number of jobs and unemployed, moving, a deployment, a good job, buying a condo, working too much, pets, cars, serious illness, near death moments, healing, rebound illness, disability, schooling, growing up, growing up a child, road trips, reality; you name it, we have probably been there.

When I look at the big picture, I can't help but see what has stayed constant. Precious few have stuck around the entire time, though they do exist. The main one that I know has been the backbone of support for us as a couple, as parents, and as a family, is our church. We have had enough changes and things fall apart, we might as well be at rock bottom, but we are together, and quite happily, though it is overshadowed with the stark reality of today.

Our happiest, most jubilant days are spent there, as are our saddest, most desolate ones, we find solace, support, and strength to pull through. A solid rock of centuries old wisdom, comfort, and peace, with shelter to weather any storm. What a blessing to never have to question our faith through all of the trials which have befallen us and to be granted a deeper understanding of this faith of our fathers.

Seasons of life come and go, they weather on like the leaves of the trees, but the faith which has been handed down to us for two millennia stands strong, like the evergreen in winter. We may be dashed against the stones of life, we can always seek consolation in the arms of an unchanging, staunch, and compassionate faith such as this. I, for one, am grateful. Slava Bogu!

I love our faith and church, my husband and daughter, and the time we have.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Air is Cooling Off And So Are We

Well, it's that time again where I post something about how we are all worn out from whatever it is and that we will be using these upcoming weeks to lay low. We have had a lot going on, but we have also got more coming up. In the next two weeks alone, we have 6 days of church (for special feasts), 2 appointments for Jay and a trip to Berry Patch for raspberries galore and we wanted to include a visit to the art museum somewhere in there. That doesn't even include our anniversary on thursday!

I love our birthday-anniversary-liturgical-new-year-feast day-berry-harvest month, but october is so welcome every year. It has a couple of extra services spread out, but the weather changes, for certain usually, the days are full of walks, changing leaves, soup, hot cereal, tea, sewing, knitting, and so on. Can you tell it is my favorite?

Now for the part that I don't like, where I have to tell everyone that, although we love peoples' company dearly, we have to slow things down a bit or we will never make it through the holiday season. I am aware it doesn't begin for about 2 months, but if you have lived with someone, or have, chronic illness, you will understand how important down time really is. If we don't take the time now, we will pay later. Chances are, we will pay a little later anyway, there isn't really anything, besides going to church, that doesn't have some repercussion after the fact, or contribute to an oncoming issue.

Jay's health is stable, over all, but he has had some very off days lately which are concerning to me. He hasn't had a problem with migraines for a long time, at least, we haven't had to use his migraine stuff for full-blown migraines in awhile, but he got one last week, even taking his migrelief preventative. He got a bad one on Labor day, too, so I know something is off and we need to slow down. Stimulation, whether good or bad, is trying on his system, so the more we can limit that, the fewer issues he tends to have.

I went to church last night and, halfway through, began sneezing. I thought it may have been the new incense, but as it turns out this morning, I have the beginning of a cold. I am sure I needed to slow down, but unless I am unable to get out of bed at all, I still think I should go to church. I got totally ready to go, and was doing ok, until right before we were supposed to go, I just started sneezing and sneezing. I was in tears to Jay and Katherine hugged me a lot. I just don't like missing church, but God knows best and I am sure there is a lot of purpose in this. I made myself some echinacea, lemon balm, ginger, rose hips, red rasp leaf and chamomile infusion last night and I am due for more.

Well, to the point of this post. We will be going on a sort of lockdown soon, until mid-november. We are really hoping to scrimp and save to make it to my grandma's for Thanksgiving, which means we will have a 'Crafter's Bench Christmas', because we will spend any extra money to go, but it is worth it. Meema is 95 and won't be around forever, so it means a lot to me to go; she is like another mom to me, in some ways. So long as we can all be together through it all, that is what matters, right? I have things I can sew and knit and, since the weather will change, I will be doing it more anyway. So, in the interest of everyone's health and ability to make through the winter months and holidays to come, we may have to bow out of many different things, but it has everything to do with us, not you.

One thing that has to be remembered about chronic illness is that, although the person may seem functional, it is not in the same fashion of an average person. Their energy may be spent long before they want it to be, but they will smile through a lot of it. When they get tired, it may take days to recover their strength, or may have to sort of a side effect, like headache, etc. Also, please keep in mind that he may not even know how much he needs to rest, even if he knows he isn't in top shape (relatively).

Well, that is it for now and thanks for understanding! Glory to God for all things!

Thursday, September 15, 2011


My heart knew Him well
As a child, many things are clear
He has always whispered to me
Whether I have ears to hear
But I have made other choices

There are times when I have walked away
Yet, He follows my every footstep
I have looked for different meanings
In various places and people
But have seen He is in all Creation

I have turned my back
While He laid the feast for me and mine
I have been all things, and more
Still, He awaits my return
In each lost human moment

I have begged for Mercy and Life
Because I am the cause of the death within
I realize that I am the one in desperation
While He sits with open arms
Freely offered and ever-present

Unity in Trinity and Trinity in Unity
Adjoin our hearts and minds
All of us, one with another
For we are cut from the same cloth
Though we have worn ourselves thin

Fuse us to the point of unrecognizable
Bring us peace in Your Mercy and Light
Grow us in Your Love and Understanding
To the inconstant, be the Rock
For the broken, heal the imperfection with Grace

Teach us to be as that child
The one who comprehends the inconceivable
Wearing our faith and diligence with honor
Pinned to our hearts within
Keeping us contented and simple

Lord, have Mercy on us all
With Your guiding, perpetual presence
Usher hope and comfort
Contributing to Peace and Love
Glory to God for all Things

The Girl Who Stole My Heart...and My Wimple

This one above is my girl in her special blanket that she has had since she was a month or two old, that my dad's mom made her and that thing on her head is the wimple. I made it for myself because I like to keep my hair short and it is like a hat and scarf joined together as a tube shape. It has a really pretty and simple pattern called Old Shale. She decided it was cozy and perfect, so she appropriated it for most of our trip to the mountains for her birthday!

This is Katherine and her good friend the first morning in the mountains and Kat is wearing the vest I made her (with the wimple, of course!!!) that I mentioned in my previous post. That vest only JUST fits and I hope it will last her, otherwise I will be picking up some stitches on the bottom edge to lengthen it!

Well, just wanted to remember to share the vest with you all, since I had posted about it earlier. Have a wonderfully blessed day, full of love and peace!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Soften This Heart

Broken from the inside out
Unable to think where to begin
Words speak little of the truth beyond
As hollowness skulks nearby
Awaiting its prey in the shadows
Where depths of heaviness descend
Sinking into the person within
The farther they go
Down into brilliance
With an absence of color
Night interrupts day
Into peaceful solitude
Contemplation begins anew
Resolve is barely conceived

O, God, my God
Hear my call and visit me
For this darkness can be nothing
With You by my side
Emptiness is refilled
In Your very wake
Weakness is complete
In Your embrace
Strength is given freely
By virtue of Your peace

Dispirited and disheartened
Gather me together
Soften this heart
Teach patience and fortitude
Humility and wisdom
Though I am a capricious student
Heal this mess in spite of me
Grant me the opportunity
To walk with You in Grace
To talk with You in times of need
To listen when I cry out
Answer what I need to hear
Be always by my side
In this weary tumult of life
Mold this heart of mine
Keep my path before me

I do not know how to be unbroken
O God, help set my feet aright
Glory to God for all Things
In all ways, forever

Glory to God for All Things

The dark storm-clouds of life bring no terror to those in whose hearts Your fire is burning brightly. Outside is the darkness of the whirlwind, the terror and howling of the storm, but in the heart, in the presence of Christ, there is light and peace, silence. The heart sings: Alleluia!

I see Your heavens resplendent with stars. How glorious You are, radiant with light! Eternity watches me by the rays of the distant stars. I am small, insignificant, but the Lord is at my side: Your right arm guides me wherever I go.

Glory to You, ceaselessly watching over me.

Glory to You for the encounters You arrange for me.

Glory to You for the love of parents, for the faithfulness of friends.

Glory to You for the humbleness of animals which serve me.

Glory to You for the unforgettable moments of life.

Glory to You for the heart’s innocent joy.

Glory to You for the joy of living, moving, and being able to return Your love.

Glory to You, O God, from age to age

I found this Akathist: Glory to God for All Things and think it is beautiful. I was actually looking to download any audio of Akathists, but this is what came of it instead. This portion which I have decided to share are my favorite, I think. It is the Ode that caught me and lines like "
Glory to You for the joy of living, moving, and being able to return Your love" that really stir around and settle in. I hope you enjoy!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Mountain Midnight Musings

I was thinking while we were in the mountains for my girl's birthday how surreal everything seemed. To be the most alive, the moments almost don't even seem to exist. In the mornings, I would turn to the sunrise and say my prayers to God; eyes closed, warm rays on my face, nothing else quantifies. Simplicities, in measures beyond comprehension, yet more complex than I will ever fully understand. The surreality of the moments that make up this life take me far from myself, toss me beneath the wings of Glory and I find myself caught in the currents, blasting forth transient flickers of self; past, present and future, as though only one was in existence.

What a time, place and person to be! Lord have Mercy that my lessons be swift and purposeful, with a gratefulness to follow.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

If The Shoe Fits

In our situation here, with my husband being disabled and our income quite fixed, I am the caretaker, both of my husband and our daughter. I keep an eye on all of the things that need management, tiresome as it is, and troublesome to boot. I have been told, on occasion, that I am so strong and good for being here and caring for the family, probably because they cannot imagine the requirements being asked of them. I signed up for this, all of it, no matter what, our lives are bound. In this life, it seems to me, that my husband is the stronger of the group; being under 40, he has chronic illness that has included pain and suffering seemingly devoid of end, struggles daily from within and without, the dealings of a growing daughter and the waning of a tired, young wife. He is the stronger for being able to contend with all of that, but still believes himself to be the lucky one. He thinks me merciful for staying in these times, at times bleaker than imagination, to working things through, particularly when his mind does not serve him well and especially, when I make him laugh. That, my friends, is the way our marriage looks. In the illness and purpose that has beset us, we seem to each be convinced that the other is a Godsend.

It is a life in spectacular magnitude, begetting us eternal and temporal simplicity in peace. I am born and made to be who I am, so no matter the stress, it fits. I have mused endlessly about our lives and how they have changed, but really we just turned our paths toward a brighter sun. We are complete in our struggles, as they usher in a purposeful focus. Unless you have been here, it cannot merely be described, but known in the heart, deeper than your mind may fathom. I would not wish our specifics on anyone, they are no picnic, though we have a profound sense of self, one another and life, in our attempts to forage our way. In peace, do we hope to continue, though the swells in the ocean of life may toss our ship. God's Mercy, Grace, Peace, Comfort and Love be with you all, in all ways.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Pieces of Peace

We are not the same as when we married
Though we are each one half of our whole
Sometimes my heart gets broken
All over again...

We are so young
Yet aged so quickly within
This life so fleeting
With flashes of the present

It isn't what we thought it would be
Nowhere near what we dreamed
To be crushed by this weight
By this unforgiving humanity

A better life than we had planned
Unfolds before our eyes
Beneath our feet, the path is laid
One step at a time

More than ever, heartfelt devotion
Divine compassion and symbiosis
The coal becomes a diamond
The fire of these trials purifies

O God, continue Your Mercy
Give us strength and wisdom
Patience and kindness
Peace and Love, Forevermore