A Thought

I guess I haven't written in awhile, but I have not had too much to say. I come up with half-hatched ideas and they all sound good in my brain when I am in the shower, or driving...Oh well, must not have been too important, right? But it was, or they seemed to be. I s'pose it is better to be on a destination to somewhere and have little to say, than to have nowhere in particular to venture and have too much to say. "They" say that silence is golden, who are "they"? I don't know, does that really matter when it is true? I think I can understand sometimes why people might choose a "vow of silence", but with a 3 y.o. that would be a bit of a stretch. I don't think I would want to be quiet all of the time, I just want to learn to hold my tongue at the proper moments as not to offend anyone or anything else. No one teaches that these days, when it is proper not to talk and when we ought. I want to bring back charm school, I think those values are sadly lost! I am sure they have them still, but they are lesser known and probably set for today's lifestyle. Sometimes I just want to live in another century, or just another decade, because even with the lack of medical advancements we would be busy enough to have a better focus on life in general. When we are physically exhausted from lots of tiring work we don't have time to think about what our neighbor is doind and why we can't have this or that like everyone else. Life doesn't change, only circumstance. I think it to be very true, people for thousands of years haven't changed, just technology and capability. There have always been people falling in love, going to war, lying, cheating, stealing, working, having babies, being political, what is so different about now? If science is right about evolution, why haven't we evolved out of our human nature? I will tell you why, science isn't right! It is our fallen nature from Adam and Eve that gives us such predictable qualities. What will happen 100 years from now? You don't have to be psychic to know that someone in the world will be at war (unless the anti-christ brings the peace), people everywhere will be looking for answers, there will be love, hunger, envy, hate, new life, death, "justice" and injustice, happiness, sadness and so on down the list. Why? Because an entire race of humans aren't going to change. I am not pesimistic, more like realistic. All I know is that it matters what I do with this life, who I am and what I believe ARE relevant. Our free will allows us to choose how we will live our lives but our fallen nature keeps us bound in these shackles from which we try to escape. Totally pointless without God. Not everyone agrees, but that's not unusual.
Well, so much for not having anything to say. That is enough ranting for now, sorry for the blathering. Talk to you soon, Xen

Forgiveness Sunday

Well, the title says it all. Today is our day of forgiveness, to seek it from others and to support each other on our journey. It is a sort of liberating time for all of us in church to know that regardless of age, gender, race, language or anything else we all come together to ask forgiveness and know that we are all in this struggle as a family in Christ. God calls us to forgive one another and that through this act we allow ourselves to become closer to on another and also to God; that we should know Him better and that He know us as we ought to be. In my family, we ask eack other forgiveness every night before bed that we may not hold a grudge and try to be humble towards one another even when we don't feel like it or want to. I am undeserving of my wonderful family, but God has seen fit to give them to me so I try everyday to be worthy. There are so many things that cloud my vision of the way I ought to be and I do not turn as often as I should to God for the help I desparately need. It also takes a lot to admit that I need the help, to learn the proper surrendering of my soul and life to Him. I am much happier when I am in complete submissive obedience, to a lot of people that sounds as if I am a slave, to me it is freeing, I am only a slave to my sins, my fallen nature. Something so simple made confusing by being human. In any case, please forgive me, a sinner. May God forgive us all. One of the great mysteries of God is we will never know in this life the extent of God's mercy and love. God be with you all. Until next time.

Great Lent

It is upon us as every year in preparation of the Bright Resurrection; Great Lent. It is earlier this year so it seems as if we barely finished with everthing else. It is so cold, too. What is in a name? Great Lent...it seems so daunting to some, because great means big, but I think that Lent truly is great in the literal sense of the word as well. Most people think of the fasting from meat, dairy, etc. or for what we choose to give up as what Lent is and I wonder why. It is interesting to think about sometimes. As an Orthodox Christian, this is what it means to me: Abstinence; from rich foods, from my biggest faults (to the best of my ability)...Self-Denial; what I think I want vs. what God wants for me. Learning; to be still, to be a better Christian, to be a better mom and wife...The sweet celebration of the Bright Resurrection and knowing that the sweetness in the end is due to the struggle and the journey. Some people choose a different way of going about things but for me this is what Lent is right now, I never know what I will learn, sometimes not until much later than I think. This is the first year that after the Nativity of Christ I am left wanting more, wanting Lent. I am truly looking forward to this years journey and with God's help it will be fruitful. Please pray for me on this journey, "And when you pray, do not use vain repetitionsas the heathen do. For they think they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come. On earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Thine is the knigdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen." Matt.6:7-13. Quoting scripture is not something that I normally do, nor does it easily come, but what I wanted to say had already been said so I thought I would look it up. I don't remember where I read it but I think it said something to the effect of, prayer being something in your heart since that is where they come from. Sometimes I think that we do not always know when we are praying. Our souls are searching for the Truth and mine has found its home. For those of you who do, and do not, participate in the Lenten season, may it be fruitful and prosperous.
I think that about does it for my first posting. Talk to you soon, Xen Xen