Friday, April 18, 2008

Knight in Shining Armour

I will have to say that I love my husband. This is nothing new to most people. He is a hard working, caring, wonderful man. I appreciate his resolve and ethic, he is a diamond in the rough. He inspires me to be a better person, to be the one he sees when he looks at me with those big brown eyes and that 'sweetie pie' look that he has passed down to his daughter. Before we met, I was SO done dating (not that I did that much dating to begin with, just done with the whole everything about it). I decided that I was going to wait for Prince Charming. Little did I know, by making such resolve, God would give to me a man who would not only love me with everything he has, but he would challenge me and never ask me to change. We have been through a lot in our short 7 years of being together, 5.5 of being married. You would think that the going off to war thing would be the hard part, or the initial getting home and becoming a family again. In all reality, we both changed while he was away, we had to in order to survive...just before our 2nd wedding anniversary, we had ribs and such in an on-base restaurant in our last effort to see each other and pretend it wasn't so bad. Katherine had just turned 1 and my heart was breaking, everything seemed so surreal, but I knew this was God's will and we would survive and that there was a purpose in it, even if we did not see all of it. Some may have thought it was so terrible to happen to us at such a time, I never really thought he would die, I was going to miss him and the life we created together, very selfish reasons. I was NOT in denial, I just did not believe he would die. While he was away, there would be days that I felt like I needed to talk to him, just to hear his voice and I would go to my parents icon corner and get a prayers books out and say a prayer, I think it was the one for the acceptance of God's will, short and to the point and I would say a little extra prayer in my heart. Usually within 24 hrs of my doing so, usually sooner, he would call me (I did not notice it as much then). When he was back and we were sitting with Fr Boris, he explained that there were times, he could not figure out why, but he felt like he just HAD to get to a phone and call me and he did as soon he could. God's will, in everything, God's will. After he was home we had some adjustments, we had to get out of survival mode and get back to family life. It took some work, but with God's help we have made it this far. He did not see anything too crazy when he was there, but he has not totally come back from Iraq, he is back about 99%, but only a wife would notice the other per cent. I think we have really come far together, as a family, as a couple and as individuals. I love him with so much joy that I get to have the rest of our lives together. He has saved me from myself when we met, helped me to find God again and given me a life and a family, I can never express my gratitude. It is amazing what happens when we actually 'let' God take the controls and steer us on our path. I can only imagine what it will be like in the years to come if we can fully surrender to His holy will...He got us through a war, thank you God. Please pray for us that we continue to accept God's will in all ways, that we may hear His words more clearly in our everyday and that we, "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)