Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Good Day...

Well, the start of this week is far more promising than any of the other days last week, so I would say we are off to a great start! I don't know how it caught my attention, but something sparked my interest in the, 'if this were my last day' sort of thought pattern tonight. My immediate reaction, like a ton of bricks, was that I wouldn't sleep because I wouldn't want to miss a thing. Then I decided that a minimal amount of sleep would be required in order to function in my last hours. Huh.

It occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to see everyone, or do everything, I am not able to at a moments notice, so the best coarse of action would be to pray. It was an odd flash of what life would be like if I was to realize that my life is only but a breath and blink in the grand scheme. I imagined hugging and loving people as though I had no history, or any future, for that matter.

It is these times when I have those 'flash-forward' images in my head that seem to project me toward what I know to be true and right. Things are clear for a mere second as they flit through my mind's eye in an almost tangible, yet drifting and surreal sort of slow-motion picture of what could be and what has been.

A fleeting thought came to me today about how we get to have certain moments of joy and peace, wherein our days are not so much of a struggle and we notice our happiness, like my day today. It gave me the sense that, while these are the days which bring me rest and calm, it is the other days, though seemingly tough and frustrating, that are the times that fade into a distant remembrance and become no more of a nuance than any other. My reaction should be the same on a day when I bask in the peace as when I want to hide in my bed away from all things. This is nothing new, but when it sinks into my heart and soul is when it makes a difference and begins to change things. The interesting part is that it is likely the transforming is taking place without my absolute knowledge, yet it doesn't dawn on me until the exact moment when it settles into my innermost being.

A good day, but that is true of any day when I awake with breath in my lungs and a light in my eyes...Glory to God for all things, but today, especially those that help direct my focus to where it ought to be, even if only for a short time....