Monday, June 30, 2008

Wearily Sitting, Writing, Thinking

I am tired, so very tired. Not in a bad way, but tired just the same. Sort of worn down since Jay has been ill and that has taken a toll. I am nowhere near as tired as he gets, most likely, but man, it takes it outta me. He has been really sick for the last few months, but effected by it for ages now possibly. I get the up and down of him feeling well one minute and the next, he could crash from a reaction to something. Day to day, moment to moment, it is hard to tell, can't really call it. When he is not well, he is really NOT well, when he gets his times of wellness, it is great and it seems like he could conquer the world again. Things are a strain, we have had to revamp our cupboards and purge them of anything containing gluten. Over budget on food and taxed on the emotions. But, I will not keep things around that will make him sick even though he tells me to keep some of it for us. We do not need the gluten, we may be sensitive also, particularly Katherine because she is has Jay's DNA too, so who knows. In any case, things have been good and bad, up and down, it really challenges a persons patience and strength to go through something like this that requires such a rapid change. I am worn down, tired, malleable and somewhere near the verge of hope and happiness. I love God more today than yesterday and more tomorrow than right now, through service, patience and love we live...forever.