Thursday, March 29, 2012

After A Little While Away, Something New

Each and every Great Lent begins differently, a new way to learn lessons, whether they come once again, because we did not listen well the first time, or we simply uncover something seemingly fresh. This year, in true fashion, I have come to see many things in our journey, even thus far. I imagine to myself the culmination of this period during Holy Week and Pascha, when there is usually some sort of revelation, however, I do not hope to expect I will glean anything more than what is now and necessary. I aim to appreciate the pieces I have gathered along the way when I see them and, what is more, be grateful for recognizing things for what they are, regardless of what I expect or want.

It has occurred to me, these past few weeks, that our corporeal life is the Great Lent of our Eternity. Sometimes lenten periods feel long, bogged down, serious struggle with just getting to the feast day of the Resurrection, as our lives also have this tendency to get drawn out and cumbersome, it would seem. Other times, it would appear as if the fasting period has merely begun and we have only gotten to about 5% of all the things we had hoped to accomplish; books that went unread, services unattended, minds a-wandering, thoughts unchaste and selfish, alms not given, people not tended, but the feast of the Resurrection comes, whether you will it or not, just as the impending death of this body will come.

For me, my lenten period has been fruitful in an unusual way, but my life has been gearing toward it for sometime: we are who we are, designed for greatness, each and every one of us, with something to offer, if only we would unearth those gems and polish them up for sharing with one another. I know, it is a rather odd bit, but it is my lesson. We are flawed, but beautiful, in a land of imperfection, but each thing is perfected in God's Truth, Love, and Light. It is hard to imagine a heart breaking with beauty and love, but I think mine has, time and again. I have surrendered myself unto the flow of life, seeing all of my shortcomings with a gentle and obvious magnification, but I am sincerely grateful for the opportunity to correct and make my way straight with the person God has given me to be.

I have found a footing, a strength in imperfection, illness, and pain, that brings peace, love, understanding, and openness that I never have seen. My heart has drawn nigh unto God and I choose to stand with my heart broken open, awaiting what may come. I have been in the depths of struggle and I have been lifted out by grace and patience, clinging to what little I have known of the Triune love that is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I may have simply hit the tip of the proverbial iceberg, but it is more glorious than anything I have ever known. You can now see what I mean when I said earlier that I wonder at what could come of the culmination, or whether I have I already had it, only time will tell. This amazing Christian journey is so full of twists and turns that serve to humble, strengthen, challenge, and protect, it is a wonder many choose otherwise (though I do not pretend to know how anyone else finds peace and encounters God, in their own ways).

I hope this finds you well and that your own rise and fall prove to be as reward as bitter herbs; strong to the taste, but good for the person.


elizabeth said...

enjoyed this.
funny, I was just thinking of you this morning! Glad to see you wrote again here! Blessed end of Lent my friend!