Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Woe's of an Only

Katherine is 7.5 years old. I have come to terms with the fact that we may never have anymore kids, or the possibility to adopt any time soon, in more ways than I can probably explain, you would have to have gone through something like this to really know. Katherine is a great kid and I am blessed to have her in our lives. The more she grows, the more I am impressed with who she is becoming.

I grew up in a family with 4 kids; I am 2 of 4. We are all relatively close in age and there was hardly a dull moment. I always imagined a house full to the brim with kids, but this has been amazingly harder for me for many reasons. I never knew the heartbreak of being, or having, an only child. Many days, she is happy as can be and quite used to her situation. We keep busy enough that things keep moving along and she has a lot of friends who are just like family, Glory to God. Every so often, she opens her little heart to me about not having any siblings, particularly a sister. She hasn't got any close friends who know what it is like to be an only, all her closest friends have many siblings.

Today was hard because she was having a rough go about not seeing any friends and she said, between sobs on my lap, "I just can't handle being the only kid in this house. The dogs don't want to play with me all the time and I don't have a sister to play with." My own heart aches when I have to give her the only explanation that I can come up with. I tell her to let's be grateful for what God has given us, instead of wishing for something different.

Katherine is such an amazing child, whom God has entrusted to us, and I would not trade our adventures in life for anything, but there are things that I do not pretend to completely understand, yet have to find a way to explain it. Isn't that just the way of a parent, always having to explain things we don't fully grasp, but because we have so many more years (and they still think we know nearly all there is), we've got to find a way.

Sometimes I imagine that she will have loads of kids...but in all things, God's will be done. "Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." Luke 22:42


Marfa said...

It's hard to understand God's will. I have also wished for more children, but I thank God for what I sister has been struggling with trying to become pregnant for several years. What is hard is every time she come back to Cincinnati a handful of people at our church ask her when she's going to have a baby!
Have you thought about becoming a foster parent? Rob's parents did and they ended up adopting 11 children, in addition to the 5 biological children.

h west said...

I'm an only child and look what happened to me! Yikes! I can sympathize with the mighty Kat. I have felt much the same way.