Tuesday, September 6, 2011

If The Shoe Fits

In our situation here, with my husband being disabled and our income quite fixed, I am the caretaker, both of my husband and our daughter. I keep an eye on all of the things that need management, tiresome as it is, and troublesome to boot. I have been told, on occasion, that I am so strong and good for being here and caring for the family, probably because they cannot imagine the requirements being asked of them. I signed up for this, all of it, no matter what, our lives are bound. In this life, it seems to me, that my husband is the stronger of the group; being under 40, he has chronic illness that has included pain and suffering seemingly devoid of end, struggles daily from within and without, the dealings of a growing daughter and the waning of a tired, young wife. He is the stronger for being able to contend with all of that, but still believes himself to be the lucky one. He thinks me merciful for staying in these times, at times bleaker than imagination, to working things through, particularly when his mind does not serve him well and especially, when I make him laugh. That, my friends, is the way our marriage looks. In the illness and purpose that has beset us, we seem to each be convinced that the other is a Godsend.

It is a life in spectacular magnitude, begetting us eternal and temporal simplicity in peace. I am born and made to be who I am, so no matter the stress, it fits. I have mused endlessly about our lives and how they have changed, but really we just turned our paths toward a brighter sun. We are complete in our struggles, as they usher in a purposeful focus. Unless you have been here, it cannot merely be described, but known in the heart, deeper than your mind may fathom. I would not wish our specifics on anyone, they are no picnic, though we have a profound sense of self, one another and life, in our attempts to forage our way. In peace, do we hope to continue, though the swells in the ocean of life may toss our ship. God's Mercy, Grace, Peace, Comfort and Love be with you all, in all ways.