Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Ponderings of late

There is a mess of stuff floating around in my head right now, and I don't feel as if I can describe it all, while at the same time, I feel compelled to rest them in writing. Sometimes when it is outside myself, it stops bumping around inside my head.

Lately, I have been pondering love...again. Sure, it is a constant in life: whether or not we have it, when will we have it, this possession of love that somehow gratifies and justifies our sense of being. We seem to feel entitled to love, as if we deserve it without any hitch and as though we can somehow stuff it into our pocket and take it out at will when it pleases us. We objectify it as if it will change based on our needs, so then we have fickle love, but is that real love? We use it as a weapon when we feel hurt or wish to make a point and we do our very best to mold it into something predictable. It makes us feel our best and our worst and it comes between the best of us.

In our attempts to harness the thing that is love, it seems as if we lose sight of what love actually is, that it just is. If it is true love, there are no bounds within which it must reside. If it is love, we cannot measure its expanse, nor describe its vast enveloping depth. If we know love, it is because we do not struggle to force it into our definition of what we think it should be. If we find love, it is because we have become willing to accept what that looks like. When the heart is open, we can never be sure what will wander in, but one thing is sure, we may get hurt because our pride will give way to the humility that is love. When we do not restrict love through our own imperfections, we can fully experience all that is love.

Just a little thought of the day...maybe more later.